Sweaty here, back from my extended vacation and I come bearing gifts. What gifts you ask? How about a little something borderline pornographic, outrageously bloody, and stamped with the Japanese brand of weird we’ve all come to know and love? Brought to us by the creatively insane duo of Noboru Iguchi (Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead) and Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl), this movie fits perfectly into that brand of blood ‘n’ guts Nishimura is famous for. Fans of J-splat take note: this is one you don’t want to miss.
Not in the traditional sense, but prepare yourselves for monstercocks and sword tits.
Yoshihiro Nishimura, aka Japanese Tom Savini. ‘Nuff said.
Off the charts. Like all of Nishimura’s splatter films, this one prides itself on how many times it makes the viewer exclaim, “what the fuck.”
So, right off the bat, there’s no question about what direction this movie is going in. In the opening scene, we have our Hot Chick With A Katana cliché dividing skulls like they’re made of blood tofu. And the bad guys? Shooting back at her with their face penises guns, of course.
Behold, neo-samurai nose gun police. And off we go.
She’s joined by two other lovely ladies, each with their own unique powers for turning living flesh into red soup. After this nice little gore tease, the real story begins. We flash back to a month before and are introduced to the heroine of this fine tale, a young schoolgirl named Rin, who lives a sad existence being bullied and teased by her peers. After being confronted by a gaggle of mean girls, Rin flees the classroom in tears. And what do young, Japanese schoolgirls do when they’re upset?
Cutting implied, everyone drink!
But before she can dig the blade in, Rin is again assaulted by the mean girls. And I do mean “assaulted,” as in, they punch her down a flight of stairs. She later wakes up in the sexy nurse’s office, which, if you’ve been paying attention here, you may have noticed that the standard school nurse’s attire in Japan requires both a short skirt and heels.
The nurse is aware of Rin’s blossoming mutant powers and tries to turn her in to the authorities. That’s when the mutant in Rin goes “nuh-uh” and lashes out, disfiguring the nurse and allowing Rin to escape. She makes it home just in time for sixteenth birthday celebration, in which her father states he has a “big surprise” for her. And yes, it involves his penis. And yes, his penis is a living horror. Bonus: dad also has monstertits as well.
Japan: home of sushi, ninjas, and mewling, gyrating, body horror.
Twelve minutes in, and we’ve already got a dad exposing his bloody meat genitalia to his teenage daughter. So make no mistake, you know you’re in for a treat with this one. I’m not going to spend too much time summarizing here, because really this movie needs to be seen in order to be believed. Instead, I’ll just give you a few of the highlights:
Dynamic poses and arterial sprays …
… obligatory tentacle rape …
… headless cake-dad advice …
Mutated and misunderstood, Rin starts by defending herself against an angry mob, but halfway through she just apparently decides to say fuck it and begins murdering everyone she sees. It’s not long before she meets up with the other lovely ladies of the Mutant Girls Squad, who greet her in their customary way.
Decapitation is just their way of saying hello.
The girls, led by a cross-dressing samurai (played by Tak Sakaguchi of Versus fame), take Rin into their fold and reveal their X-Men-like existence, living in secret fear of the human race. Each girl has her own special power and well, since this is J-horror, you can probably guess that a few of them are a little out there.
The plot basically follows Rin as she trains with the Squad. Once she gains full control of her powers however, she joins the murderous maidens on their quest to eviscerate all humans. See, as it turns out, their transvestite leader is a bit more Magneto than Professor X. They begin targeting anti-mutant groups and it is war; ultra-violent, organ-spilling, blood-saturated war. However, after watching her teammates brutally murder a mother and child, Rin begins to have second thoughts about the cause. Predictably, it comes down to Rin (and her sidekick Yoshie) having to face-off with her former sisters, and the result is as insane and hilarious as the rest of this film.
Complete with a giant, acid-lactating monster battle.
There are so many laugh-out-loud moments in this one, mainly due to the silliness (and goriness) of the effects. You really can’t go wrong with a Nishimura movie in that regard, but MGS brings the whole package; hot, kickass girls, humorous, unique supporting characters, and nonstop action throughout. The movie paces really well, keeping you locked in to just about every scene, mostly just to see what they’re going to do next. And blood, blood, blood. Did I mention that this film was pretty gory?
The most entertaining part of this film though? Definitely the characters. Even bit characters that are only in the film for less than a minute get the Anime treatment. Everything about this movie screams live action cartoon.
Sort of like Dragonball Z, with more blood and ass-weapons.
For fans of splatter, it should go without saying that this one requires a watch. It’s right up there with one of my personal all time faves, Tokyo Gore Police, though I found this one to be much funnier, in a “what the fuck am I watching,” sort of way. Every scene seeks to outdo the last in terms of outrageousness, which is a thing many J-splatter films attempt at; this one, I’m happy to report, pulls it off spectacularly.
Score: 9/10, top-notch silliness and gore, a must see
IMDB for this bloodbath
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Categories: asian horror