Analysis and Discussion

Horror so bad…its good

Horror fans round the world have very differing opinions on the different sub genre’s – but at a glance you have some very standout ones: Gore porn, torture porn, horror-thrillers, horror comedy, paranormal, supernatural, serial killer, creature features…etc.

A less appreciated, but highly valued group falls somewhere short of these…not quite horror comedy, but rather horror so bad its accidentally comical.

Some films, especially one near and dear to my heart (listed below), enter into this sub category willingly – but most, in fact the best, end up there purely by accident.

Last week I (Papa Bacchus) took a more serious approach to horror, analyzing and speaking to something incredibly important to me in horror – sound. Looking to take the pedal off the gas and have some fun with y’all – not to mention a few drinks – lets talk about the worst shit you’ve ever seen. The shit so goddamn bad its masterfully spectacularly hilarious – and I’ve got a few to start.

(Now, these are in no particular order, just 5 movies so terrible I absolutely love ’em. I totally encourage you to bring yours to the forefront in the comments)

ThanksKilling

I’m bringing this one up early because I know they were going for the shtick, the tongue in cheek terrible low budget glory. But at a budget of $5,000 they absolutely deserve recognition.

Whats it about? Cursed turkey axes some college kids off during Thanksgiving break.

What makes it so bad its good? Ok, so, allow me to repeat myself a little bit. A cursedturkey. axes some college kids. Also, said turkeys foul as fuck, has a penchant for titties, and at one point wears a young girls fathers face as a disguise. AND GETS AWAY WITH IT. Oh, and he fucks a chick with a gravy flavored condom. THE TURKEY, that is.

Indeed

Indeed

The Wicker Man

Without a doubt one of the larger budget films that absolutely wanted to be taken seriously, The Wicker Man features one of the most iconic scenes in recent history, that horror fans the world round source constantly. I am speaking, of course, of Nic Cage in full bear get up decking a bitch.

Whats it about? A shitty sheriff suffers an even shittier ending at the hands of some pagans.

What makes it so bad its good? I mean…Nicolas Cage. Yes there’s a myriad of problems with the film, but the real one is how fucking serious Nic is trying to be – despite all his imminent issues with the bears and the bees (quite fucking literally). Don’t believe me?

MUTHA FUCKIN CAGE BEAR PUNCH BITCH

I mean seriously. This movie is chockabock full of some of the most “WHAT the FUCK” moments I’ve ever seen.

b8699f80a6be1e6f98a5b00cb7371d63e0834a162219f06596f9c4de2b52be98

Rubber

Hahahahaha…ah..ha…fuck. I mean, honestly, I really don’t know what to say here, except that if this isn’t somewhere on EVERYONES list, it should be.

Whats it about? A homicidal tire discovers psychic powers and sets his murderous sights on a sleepy desert town.

What makes it so bad its good? For fucks sake – the premise centers on a HOMICIDAL TIRE. I just don’t know how it can possibly get any more WTF than that. Maybe the way it watches TV?

Rubber4

Or, perhaps the crew it runs with?

tumblr_lz2scawrqg1qcoaf4o1_500

I couldn’t make this shit up if I wanted too, people.

Puppet Master X: Axis Rising

Did you know that 10 puppet master movies were made? We didn’t either. Not until we set eyes on this beautiful piece of work. One of our first favorites, Puppet Master X features the wonderful Mad Brad Potts, and absolutely takes the cake in WTFuckery. So goddamn bad its fucking brilliant! (Check out our review, its worth your time)

Whats it about? Boyfriend and girlfriend duo face off against the Nazi’s, who’ve now dominated the intelligent and homicidal puppet market. 

What makes it so bad its good? Archetypal characters, a brilliant mixture of over the top acting and ridiculously racist puppets, and Nazi’s. Whats more to ask?

If you guessed his name was Kamikaze...well, good fucking job

If you guessed his name was Kamikaze…well, good fucking job

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Ugh. I want you all to know it absolutely pains me to wrap my list up with this one, but I have to. In the history of movies so bad they’re good, this tops the list. If you could possibly come up with one better, I’d REALLY like to hear it. It hurts my liver just to think of how wonderfully horrifically bad this one was…and how much, in spite of myself, I enjoyed it. And I reviewed it. INSANELY DRUNK.

Whats it about? Some birds attack some fuckers. That’s…I mean thats pretty much it.

What makes it so bad its good? The absolute disregard for production value. The ‘fuck you’ attitude towards story, direction, and acting. Oh, and effects. I mean. What effects there were. You will find yourself clawing at the inside of your eyelids trying to figure this one out – I’m personally still suffering a bit of PTSD here, and I’ve seen A Serbian Film many times.

GUYS. THIS WAS A MOVIE. GUISE.

GUYS. THIS WAS A MOVIE. GUISE.

What do you think? Do you have any favorites that would fit into this list?? Let me know!


 

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4 replies »

  1. I EAT YOUR SKIN,
    I DRINK YOUR BLOOD,
    PLANET 9 FROM OUTER SPACE,
    LASERBLAST,
    SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS,
    THE QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE,
    SKINWALKERS,
    BATTLEFIELD EARTH,
    SOUND,
    INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN,
    INVASION FROM INNER SPACE,
    RAW MEAT,
    FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND,
    FRANKENSTEIN’S DAUGHTER,
    JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN’S DAUGHTER,
    BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA,
    UNEARTHED,
    TAIL STING,
    THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN,
    KING DINOSAUR,
    SNOW SHARK,
    TURKS IN SPACE,
    AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.,
    FEEDERS,
    OUTLAW OF GOR,
    TRANSMORPHERS,
    BRAIN ROBBERS FROM OUTER SPACE,
    EVIL BEHIND YOU,
    ALIENS VS. AVATARS,
    STAR QUEST; THE ODYSSEY,
    NUKIE,
    ALIEN VS. HUNTER,
    JURASSIC SHARK,
    ULTRA WARRIOR,
    ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE,
    KILLDOZER,
    I DISMEMBER MAMA,
    DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS,
    SSSSS,
    ROBOT MONSTER,
    FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD (Nick Adams).
    ORGY OF THE DEAD,
    THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE,
    THE ASTRO ZOMBIES,
    GHOSTS OF MARS,
    BLADE TRINITY,
    JUDGE DREDD,
    FIREBALL XL5,
    FIEND WITH THE ELECTRONIC BRAIN,
    HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS,
    BLOOD OF THE IRON MAIDEN,
    BIGFOOT (1970),
    DOCTOR DRACULA,
    SATAN’S CHEERLEADERS,
    THE HOUSE OF SEVEN CORPSES,
    VAMPIRE HOOKERS,
    THE BOOGEY MAN,
    EVIL SPAWN,
    to name a few, Boss.

    Like

  2. Ha! Great list. I’ve only seen two of these. I hated Rubber. It was so forking pretentious. I felt insulted.

    Plan 9 From Outer Space has long been considered the worst movie of all time. Herschell Gordon Lewis and Andy Milligan made careers out of churning out no-budget D-level schlock, like Blood Feast. I’ve heard The Room has to be seen to be believed. Geek Maggot Bingo is another I’ve heard of. And of course, there’s this:

    Liked by 1 person

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