That’s right kids, we’re back on track this week with everyone’s favorite otaku-lovin’, non-con zombie extravaganza. After a brief detour into childhood rape and a divergence into some soul rape, Sweaty’s coming back strong this week with some good old fashioned Japanese monster rape. Stack up the chairs, hide the anime girl pillows and chant with me: Wabi! Sabi! Moe!
If you’ve been with us through the previous two films, you should know what you’re getting into here, but I’ll try to sum up with a picture: imagine if you will, that each piece of candy represents a breast.
Now pretend the green gummies are making out with the blue gummies, and you’ve got an accurate representation of the film.
Some campy, Troma-like monsters, but no real gore.
Nada. Unless you have a phobia of areolas, you’ll be pretty safe watching this one in the dark.——————————————————————————————————————
If you recall in my review of RZ:LotD 2, instead of an ending proper we were instead given a bit of a, “to be continued” cop-out, leaving you all no doubt brain-chomping at the bit for more. Just to bring everyone up to speed:
“… we have the moe-loving otaku raiders, the hot lesbian army chicks, the blonde American robot and her eye patch sidekick, the sweet young couple and the sexy scientists (one of which is Momoko’s lesbian lover from the first film).” – sweaty, RZ:LotD 2
In addition to this colorful cast of characters, we have North Korea bombing everything (because that’s how NK do), the otaku organizing for an assault against Amazon (the army chicks), the robot/eye patch duo getting ready to attack the otaku, and somewhere in all of this is Momoko’s Christ-child, who may or may not have some sort of superpowers. Or it might be a zombie, who knows.
Our story begins with Nozomi, the katana-weilding nurse from the first film (and Momoko’s lover), touching herself to pictures of Momoko while reminiscing on their brief, exploratory time together. For those of you keeping score, that’s seven minutes into the film and we’ve already got some graphic female masturbation going on, complete with big, naked Asian titties on display, all interspersed with the previous lesbian scenes. I mean … wow. I didn’t think it was possible for these films to be more pornographic, but … well played, Mr. Tomomatsu, well played.
Because Nozomi is buttering her biscuit behind a curtain, her squeals of pleasure are interrupted, and by a familiar face at that: enter Otaku Guy! The OG otaku from the first movie, who, if you possess a mind capable of memory beyond three hours of film, you might remember ended up as a pile of zombified meat chunks by the end that film. Which is a blatant lack of continuity and frankly I uh … I find that … to be lazy and … um …
Should have just called it: Breasts Touching: The Movie; Also There’s a Few Zombies.
Okay, so the movie’s strong points aren’t exactly in its narrative. But for what it lacks in logic, it makes up for in camp. Being that men are feared and women now rule the planet, poor Otaku Guy has no choice but to go incognito as a woman, or as the below picture suggests, a pedophilic-looking Strawberry Shortcake cosplayer. Also, he explains how he was able to come back to life, so shame on me for ever doubting this fine, cinematic masterpiece of rape comedy horror.
Cloning, of course. In this post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested rape fantasy, life still finds a way!
OG reveals that he was cloned by mistake, and what’s worse … he was cloned without a dick. That’s right, Otaku Guy is even more pathetic than ever. But who cares, because it’s bath time at the Army base!
“I know the world’s overrun with sex-crazed monsters, but we should all totally bathe together outside in broad daylight.”
Of course all this nudity and lack of penis can mean only one thing: it’s lesbian time. But what is this? A locker-room tryst turned love triangle? Oh, but what are these nude ladies to do?
Director: “Hm, how do we top the first two films? Wait I’ve got it: THREE sets of breasts touching.”
Inside the compound, the young lovers are having their own problems. The man, being the only surviving, non-otaku penis left on Earth, is now a magnet for horny schoolgirls, while his wife is being sexually molested by scientists. For science, I guess.
The inevitable happens as the saucy schoolgirl seduces the young man, Shinji, right into Rape Town. They strap him down for science next, as Monster Cock (the grotesque monster from film two) waxes poetic about how man’s idea of love is fucking things that aren’t his old battle-axe of a wife.
Just to reiterate: this is the old hag he couldn’t get it up for.
We cut to the Otaku Army, now mobilizing against their one true threat: 3D women, aka, those who refused their unwashed advances. Nozomi learns over the radio that the otaku have her beloved Momoko, and so begins a rescue mission driven by the power of lust. Then Otaku Guy goes into a historical account of the birth of Jesus, because in this film of pornographic horror, it’s really the biblical imagery that gives it a touch of class.
The proverbial shit starts to get very real after that. The Otaku Army, along with several zombies, finally storm the Amazon compound and shockingly, their barrier of stacked school chairs (?) does nothing to repel the threat. Now if you were disappointed that this movie hadn’t featured much rape up until this point, well friend, not to worry. This scene is one long, non-stop rapefest of incredible proportions; a veritable array of rape on the senses, it is the rapestuff of legends.
There’s also uh, some of this going on.
The final scenes swell to an absurdly rape-filled pitch: the young lovers fuck to death, the remaining women die in ecstasy, there are monster cocks everywhere—Momoko, holding her mutie-Jesus baby, sings Ave Maria throughout–and the otaku are revenge-raped by the film series’ first gay zombie.
Yeah, this movie is nuts.
Eventually we end up with Momoko, Baby, Robot, several clones of Kanae (from movie one), Otaku Guy, and Nozomi. Once again, it fades to black because yes, you guessed it— it’s all setting up for a fourth installment (and god help me, but I’ve got word they’re working on a fifth).
Speaking of fifths, I’m gonna have to work on one myself just to dull the insanity.
I have to admit, the more I’ve gotten sucked into these strange little films, the more they’ve grown on me. They aren’t great movies, but they are very silly and you should get some laughs, especially if you’re an anime or manga fan. With a large cast of colorful characters and four or five subplots going on, it may be a bit aimless at times, but the film never gets dull. Once again, as with the first two films, the effects are very low budget, but you should know by now that the draw of these films isn’t the gore. Tomomatsu’s expertise is in pink films, and I will say, these flicks have some legitimately hot stuff going on. Fun, sexy and utterly ridiculous, it’s a sci-fi/horror porno comedy. And who says sex always has to be serious?
Sweaty’s Score: 7/10, a must for all you horny chuckleheads
IMDB for this rapestravaganza
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Categories: asian horror