Indie horror

Antiviral (2012)

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Gotta start off by saying there are no tits in this, but there’s plenty blood and intrigue. Let me and my Taaka vodka take you on a journey. Cheap vodka goes with anything – even obscure  weird as fuck suspense films – so drink up and take a bloody ride with me.

Antiviral. People smuggle all kinds of things, but imagine a time in our future when celebrity adoration gets completely out of hand. Personally I don’t give two shits about celebs (unless they are in a metal band or a serial killer) but even if I was I would never actually inject one of their viruses. Gross. Unless it’s some kickass virus that makes me super human but most likely it’s celeb herpes or something.

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You were supposed to warn me.

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Please tell me I’m pretty.

This one stars one of my favorite obscure actors Caleb Landry Jones, or Banshee in X-Men.

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Not just another pretty ginger face he had made his fandom mark  as the mysterious protagonist that looks like he wants to both fuck and eat you most of the time – possibly simultaneously. My kind of man indeed – In this film he’s basically a futuristic salesmen selling his customers a sophisticated virus of their choice recently harvested from the most sought after famous people. It’s like buying their underwear on Ebay but it sticks with you forever…..but mostly on your face or genitals,  if you’re lucky.

Syd March (Jones) is an employee for Lucas Clinic which infects their consenting clientele with various celebrity viruses; because if you can beat ’em, join em’ and that’s as close as you  will get to either. He also smuggles them into the black market via his own body which seems like a good idea…..wait, no it doesn’t.

I love being pretty.

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I think she may have a little more than the clap.

After injecting himself with the virus of Hannah Geist he quickly realizes that, you know, that was a bad idea. And as if viral infection wasn’t a disgusting enough accessory… cellular  steaks.

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Nothing tatses as good as Hannah feels….in mah belly.

And this chick tastes like black chick bacon but you're all the same color when our steak.

And this chick tastes like black chick bacon but you’re all the same color when your’re steak.

He’s been doing it a while but the last one was an assassination attempt so yeah. As some time passes  things get more interesting.

Antiviral

Like a Tool video.

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Earning your red wings is hard work.

I definitely enjoyed this weirdness. Definitely takes displays how deep our obsessions in society can go and although technology will advance the average brain will not. Most of us will end up like this:

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There’s even a little homage to humanity’s rapey side when they display a pleading Hanna trapped in a TV that people also pay money for.

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Please don’t put your penis in me. I am unwilling and whatnot!

You made need an extra bottle by your side to get through the slow parts but this one is worth a once over.

6/10 Shots….even with Caleb Landry Jones and all the cheap vodka you could drink and I think I drank all I could.

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