asian horror

I Saw the Devil (2010)

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Tonight my pleasurable company is Chopin vodka and it, like myself, goes down great with blood and rape, and I Saw the Devil has plenty. I was going to take a shot every time I saw blood but I’m not ready to die, especially not asphyxiating from …which sounds like an awesome fucking band name.

It’s a deliciously violent and bloody-as-fuck South Korean horror film about a serial killer who kills the wrong mother fucker’s fiance. There are a lot of revenge films out there but this one drags out the suffering through a majority of the film. What can I say? I love good torture porn and nobody fucks your constitution like KIM Jee-woon. You know him as the director of the creepy-as-shit and amazing Tale of Two Sisters – he truly is a master of horror.

Agent Joo-yun, who was apparently already teetering the edge of bat shit insane, discovers that his preggo wife has been brutally murdered, butchered and possibly raped….a lot – especially after a forensics team finds her head. He receives a list of possible suspects and after narrowing it down with some good old cop science (he finds his girl’s engagement ring and panties at the crime scene) all shit breaks loose, and the hunt begins for Kyung-chul  (played by Choi Min-sik). Joo-yun unleashes his crazy all over his ass in proper form. For the record, you probably know Choi Min-sik as the star of the fucking awesome original Oldboy (a must see).

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Vaginas are evil and that’s why we’re serial killers, Timmy. Yeah, Kyung-chul, you resent that pussy.

Kyung-chul is your classic woman hating psycho. Kills women, rapes ‘em (sometimes), and cuts them up. Why? Because he fucking hates them. That’s why.

Oh yeah and that whole serial killer loner stereotype? Not Kyung-chul. He’s got a friend named Tae-joo who happens to be a cannibal. A cannibal with a girlfriend who knows he eats bitches and seems really fucking comfortable with it. Either she gives phenomenal head, or maybe she bakes a mean butchered bitch meat pie but she seems pretty confident that this crazy mother fucker isn’t thinking of taking a bite out of her ass. I like to imagine serial killer pals hangout on weekends and rape, chop, and barbecue bitches like we do tri tip.

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“Bitch! Get yo ass in here and make this ho pot pie!”

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“I hope you choke on that titty meat pie, dick.”

One aspect I particularly enjoy is the hero/villain two sides of the coin interaction between Joo-yun and Kyung-chul. Kyung is a psycho that kills for pleasure and seems to have been sparked through his inability to get laid – or something like that – while Joo-yun is pissed about his chopped up and raped wife pile – and yet they both seem to get major chubbies from inflicting pain. It doesn’t take too long into the film before Joo-yun catches up with Kyun-chul and tortures the ever living hate fuck out of him for like… most of the movie. I mean, he finds him, royally fucks his shit up, lets him go, and hunts him down again to fuck his shit up one mo ‘gain. By the climax, if the film didn’t choose to include a few more scenes of Kyung still being a dick and more rape, you might actually feel sorry for the guy.

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“Wait! Not my pimp hand! I keeps that shit strong!”

 

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“Please stop. I’ll suck ya dick.”

Okay. Really, there’s not that much rape in this film but it’s implied with little Asian titties and rapey vibes.

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Little Asian tits and rapey vibes.

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In this scene his hands are free while he’s busy getting bag-ffocated. Why not just tear a mouth hole in the plastic?

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“There. Now, you can suck my dick.”

Like I said, I love a good torture porn and this one soaked my pantaloons clear through to the cushioning of my coffin bedding. One of the best scenes takes place near the end of the film when Joo-yun rigs a guillotine to cut off Kyung-chul’s head that is activated by the door opening. Kyung’s whole family drops by for some reason and opens the door with just enough time to watch him beheaded. His mother watches and cries in horror and agony as her son’s head rolls to her feet. Beautiful. What’s the point of an elaborate kickass guillotine butchering if nobody is there to witness? And his own parents and children are the ones that ultimately do, no less. Priceless.

If you like blood, the torture of little Asian girls, and fucking sweet ass justice (and who doesn’t?) this shit is the bee’s knees. There’s an especially sweet stab-tacular gush n’ gore scene that takes place entirely in a moving car where Kyung unloads his fury on some unsuspecting douche bags. This fuck opens all of the arteries. There are also some pretty well choreographed semi martial arts style fight scenes between the Joo and Kyung that I would rarely see in a horror film that seem to put this more in a action/horror category which definitely holds interest and  gives an advantage over the typical horror film.

The story itself is typical but the execution is oh so bloody and by no means boring. I definitely would watch this shit a few times so maybe you mother fuckers should watch it at least once.

I give this film 8/10 shots. All you need is a good buzz to enjoy this movie but, then again, I’m a borderline alcoholic.

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1 reply »

  1. This piece is boss bitchin, bang on, like a pile driver to the unsuspected plexus. Your style is already a custom fit (smile, at first I typed tit) for HH. I like the personal quotes you make up for the photos; might try some of that myself. You are more than welcome, lady, you are already at Home.

    Liked by 1 person

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