Boobs

S A W 3D (2010)

 

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S A W  3D: The Last Chapter  (2010)

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SLASH’S SHITFACED SATURDAY

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Yeah, I know the old Slashman here moves at the speed of a cyber-slug, like the old bull who saunters to the pasture to save his energy, & gauge his prowess in the most complete manner–ready for twice the heifers the young speedy bulls could service. By the way, it’s my birthday today, so while reading this, Wave your flags if you got them.

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SAW disciples, & I know you are legion-since all seven of these films in this series made boffo box office bucks, wearing down the critics, who just lost track of the through-line, just got mired down in flashbacks, celluloid reincarnations, ironical surprising twists for character development, tsunamis of floodgate utilization of “Fuck”, the almost complete absence of tit-shots, & a body count that rivaled a good Charlie day on the deltas of Viet Fucking Nam–prepare yourselves for a review, a recounting of SAW VII, perhaps the last of the franchise. For seven sweet years in a row, 2004-2010, we could look forward to another SAW release sometime around Halloween.

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We have endured for four years without a jolt of Jigsaw love. If there is enough clamor, chatter, bitching & moaning on social networks, maybe these dozen producers will get up off their Saw-bucks, & whip up another SAW. Jigsaw has been dead for (4) of the final sequels, so as one critic suggested, maybe John Kramer could rise from the Netherworld, go all demon on us, or find a inter-dimensional time portal so that he could go back in time to kill the ancestors of his most hated victims, or some other imaginative shit perhaps.

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But I digress–it is time to get down on SAW VII; sprout wood, bone up, & let’s dive dick first into this blood bath.

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SAW 3D: THE FINAL CHAPTER  (2010)

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Directed by Kevin Greutert @ 90 mnutes running time.

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In early January, 2010, Lionsgate announced that director David Hackl had officially been let go. His replacement was to be series veteran (Director of SAW VI, editor for SAW, SAW II, SAW III, SAW IV, & SAW V) Kevin Greutert. No real information on why Hackl was not acceptable, but real obvious that when Lionsgate found out that Greutert was set to direct PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2, which was slated to be released the same day as SAW 3D–& fearing low box office grosses, they “enforced Greutert’s contractual obligation to the SAW franchise.” Sounds like a greedy heartless cocksucker move to me.

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Taglines:  The traps come alive in mind-blowing, heart-pounding, eye-popping 3D. 

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The film was written once more (for the fourth movie in a row) by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan. Dunstan, it is said, for an interview done during filming, revealed that SAW VII would have more Traps, the highest body count, & the most returning characters, including Dr. Gordon, in the history of the entire franchise.

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The musical score was done for the seventh time by Charlie Clouser.

 

The cinematography was done by first-time Brian George. He was a camera operator on all the other SAW films. He only took over when David A. Armstrong decided not to return.

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There were eleven Jigsaw traps.

The body count was 27.

There was a flash of one rubber breast.

Fuck was said 69 times, & Cunt only once.

Under “Digital Visual Effects” there were listed 72 names.

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THE CAST:

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Tobin Bell as Jigsaw/John Kramer.

Costas Mandylor as Detective Mark Hoffman.

Betsy Russell as Jill Tuck, which rhymes with Duck, hee-hee.

Carey Elwes as Dr. Gordon.

Sean Patrick Flanery as Bobby Dagen.

Chad Donella as Detective Gibson.

Gina Holden as Joyce.

Naomi Snieckus as Nina.

Rebecca Marshall as Suzanne.

Anna Lee Greene as Dina.

Gaby West as Kara.

Kim Schraner as Palmer.

Claudia DiFolco as Newscaster.

Elizabeth Rowin as Sarah.

Christine Simpson as Donna Evans.

Larissa Gomes as Emily.

Laurence Anthony as Rogers.

Dean Armstrong as Cale.

James Van Patten as Dr. Heffner.

Jon Cor as Ryan.

Cameos by Tanedra Howard, & Greg Bryk.

 

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The franchise’s main man, the Colossus depicted on the primary movie poster, is still Tobin Bell, whose character John Kramer is still dead, as in the three sequels prior to this. His presence is still felt in some flashbacks, & his one new scene runs about four minutes; quite the paycheck for a cameo.

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Cary Elwes, who played Dr. Gordon in SAW (2004), was supposed to have made a repeat performance in SAW V, or SAW VI, but he was too busy to accommodate the producers. A lot was made of his return, like 2 days work mostly crammed into the last 10 minutes of the film.

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Sean Patrick Flanery plays Bobby Dugan, the new lead for this movie; he was reputed to be a fan of the SAW franchise, & was eager to be in one of the films. A busy actor, he has amassed 98 film credits since 1987, including FRANK & JESSE (1995), THE YOUNG INDIANA JONES TV series, all 22 episodes (1993), POWDER (1995), SUICIDE KINGS (1997), THE BOONDOCK SAINTS (1999), DEMON HUNTER (2005), VERITAS: PRINCE OF TRUTH (2007), THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II (2009), THE DEVIL’S CARNIVAL (2012), DARK POWER (2013), DEXTER 12 episodes (2013).

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Chad Donella played Detective Gibson. He’s a Canadian actor, raised in Toronto where all but the first SAW features were filmed. He’s had 39 film credits since 1996, including THE LONG KISS GOODBYE (1996), FINAL DESTINATION (2000), GIRL FEVER (2002), SHATTERED GLASS (2003), & DAKOTA (2008)

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This “Final Chapter” had more than its share of SAW babes.

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Betsy Russell playing the venerable Jill Tuck leads the babe list. If she ever does another sequel, she will have to be brought back from the dead; which is a common trait for the SAW writers.

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She has been able to provide nice tit-shots from previous films for us; here is yet another one of them.

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Gina Holden is Bobby’s wife, Joyce. She’s had 48 film credits since 2002, including several episodes as a muff diver in THE L WORD (2004), FINAL DESTINATION 3 (2006), ALIEN VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM (2007), MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (2012), & AVALANCHE SHARK (2013). 

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Here is a fine tit-shot from another film.

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Rebecca Marshall, a buxom beauty, played Suzanne. She’s had 21 film credits since 2004, including THE WEST WING (2006), 21 (2008), REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA (2008), THAT’S MY BOY (2012), & COOTIES (2014).

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Her wonderful tit-shots are plentiful; here’s a couple nice ones.

 

Anna Lee Greene plays the hapless Nina in the Store Window Trap. Her death by buzz saw really starts the picture with a bang. She has had 4 film credits since 2007, including CATACOMBS (2007). 

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She was kind enough to provide us with an excellent tit-shot.

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Gaby West played Kara, & she was another Scream Queen winner given a part. She has had 10 film credits since 2006, including I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF (2011).

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Here is a cheesecake shot for us.

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Kim Schraner played Palmer; for some reason SAW 3D was her final film. She has 32 film credits since 1993, including NATIONAL LAMPOON’S SENIOR TRIP (1995), PERFECT PIE (2002), & AMERICAN PSYCHO 2 (2002). 

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She did provide with a very nice butt-shot however; perhaps tit-shots were not in her purview.

 

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The lovely Larissa Gomes does have a cameo as Emily;

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and her bodacious tit-shots are plentiful as well.

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Alright, now is the time to start the SYNOPSIS, & in keeping with the pattern I set with the reviews of the other six films, it will be all inclusive, a mind-boggling, audacious, time-consuming process that I have found myself roped into by my own creative juices.

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OK, one more time we open the film with the LIONSGATE gears & gates all besmirched with blood, pieces of entrails, slices of tendons, mucus, viscus, & slimy bone fragments.

 

Beginning with several

JUMP CUTS

Flashbacks from SAW (2004), the last scene where Jigsaw slams the door saying:

Game Over.

Long pan of bloody trail in a hallway, with someone dragging themselves on the floor, with their right leg, minus the amputated foot, is bleeding profusely.

This is a Kevin Greutert film.

Cut to an overhead shot of someone crawling along minus their foot.

Then we see more of the credits. This is the first time this is done in this manner; usually we jump right to the action, & most of the credits come at the end.

Cut to Dr. Gordon crawling around the corner, & being recognized. He crawls up to some hot steam pipes, rolls up his right pants leg exposing the bloody stump. He painfully lifts up his right leg & shoves it into the hot pipes, cauterizing the wound. Of course, Dr. Gordon screams like a little girl.

Cut to a downtown scene, probably Toronto, with busy sidewalks. Two skateboarders stop to look into a department store window.

Flash of two men seated at opposite ends of twin moveable slider buzz saws. A crowd begins to gather. Both men awaken & realize they are chained into their seats. Oddly, both of them are dressed in twin beige bibbed-overalls with a white long sleeved long underwear top, sort of looking like hip versions of Al Capps ‘LIL ABNER.

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Brad: What the fuck is this?

Brian: What the fuck are you doing here?

Brad: No, tell me what the fuck are you doing here?

Brian: I’m fucking stuck.

Brad: Me too1

 

Jump Cuts:

 

OMG, OMG, a large crowd has gathered both fascinated & horrified.

Brian: Somebody help us!

A trap door opens above them. A woman with large breasts is hanging in a cruel harness with leather tethers & chains.

Brad & Brian: Dina?

Dina: What the fuck?

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Jump Cuts:

Call the police!

Break this fucking glass!

Several people try to break the store window glass to no avail.

Suddenly Billy the Puppet makes an appearance, riding his tricycle:

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John: Hello, Brad. Hello, Brian. I want to play a game. The same woman has played each of you for a fool, manipulating your love for her & causing nothing but pain. Her fun & games pushed both of you to break the law,

Dina is shaking her head, no, no, no, he’s fucking lying!!!

in order to enhance her material gain. She is toxic, & today all your transgressions will be made public ( it is cool to have Billy there in person, rather than just his head on a video tape delivering the message). Now you must choose, which one of you will drop out of this terrible triangle, because in 60 seconds one of you must die. If you want to save her, the moving blade must be pushed one way or the other, proving for good which one of you is the true alpha male; or are you both strong enough to walk away from what is destroying you–

Brian: What are all you people just staring at? Get help, call the police!!

–or will you fight one more time to honor her lying heart?

 

Jump Cuts:

Several teenagers in hoodies,

Dina, Brad, Brian,

several bystanders on their cell phones

you have 60 seconds to decide who will die. Make your choice.

 

Flash to a digital timer–59:00 seconds.

Flash to both buzz saw blades kicking on.

Flash to Billy sitting calmly watching from his trike.

Brian: Oh, fuck!

Brad: Fuck, fuck!

The crowd: Oh, my fucking God!

Dina hanging in harness: Help me, fucking help me!

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Flash to the timer–43 seconds.

Both men begin struggling to push the blades toward each other.

Flash to several dozen bystanders taking photos with their phones.

Dina: Brad, you know I love you!

Brad: I love you too, baby. 

Brian looks on in angry horror.

Dina,with her breasts in their pink push-up bra dangling & jiggling:

You get to kill him, Brad–do it, fucking kill him!

Brian: You stupid bitch!

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Jump Cuts:

Brian pushing a saw blade into Brad’s chest.

Brad pushing a saw blade into Brian’s chest.

Brian, realizing he has drawn more blood, has the advantage:

Do you still love him?

Dina: No, I’ve always loved you–I had to say that.

Flash to the timer at 23 seconds. 

Dina: Kill him for me, Brian! You get to do it, be my man, do it!!!

Brian: You lying slut! Brad, look at me. This stupid cunt is not worth one of our lives! She’s not worth it, right?

Brad, looking wounded & conflicted, then: Yeah, you are right!

Dina: What are you doing? You fucking Assholes!

Brian: I think we’re breaking up with you, Dina!

(one of my favorite lines).

Flash to Brad smiling.

Flash to Dina screaming.

Flash to Brian smiling.

Flash to both saw blades centering themselves right under her as she  continues to descend.

Flash to the timer–06 seconds.

Flash to the saw blades whirling wildly.

Flash to four cops finally pushing their way through the crowd.

Time is up–00.00 seconds.

Dina begins to bounce down onto the twin blades with her bare mid-riff, & a wide wound begins to slice open.

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Flash to the crowd putting their hands to their hushed faces.

Flash to the blades cutting deeper into her stomach, the blades making so much noise it masks her silent screams.

Flash to her blood splashing Brad & Brian in the face,

& Billy the Puppet on his trike,

& the inside of the store window.

Flash to chunks of her entrails flying out & off.

Flash to three feet of her small intestine hitting the bloody floor, flopping down fat like a string of bratwurst.

Flash to Brad, almost totally drenched in her blood.

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Cut to the title–S A W  3D.

 

Open on the last scene in SAW VI, where Jill Tuck tazors Hoffman to his knees from behind him, then she secures him in a chair, & puts the reverse bear trap on his head; then quickly leaves the room:

Jill: Game over!

She is outside in the hallway when she witnesses Hoffman breaking the door window glass, saving himself as the trap jaws are stopped by the window’s horizontal metal bars. She screams & runs off. Hoffman pulls himself out of the trap helmet (which is still bullshit since Jill had padlocked the back of it, & no key retrieval was part of her game).

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Flash to the trap hitting the floor with a metallic thud, snapping shut empty.

Flash to Hoffman on his knees screaming, his jaw torn open

(the very last image in SAW VI).

Flash to Jill fleeing down a Jigsaw hallway.

Flash to her running panicked one way, then the other, somehow forgetting where the exit door is.

Flash to Hoffman, unsteady, but on his feet, shuffling down the hallway after her, like Frankenstein with hemorrhoids.

Flash to Jill hiding in a closet, peeking out (with enough light on her face that he could have seen her at 30’ away.

CU of Hoffman, plunking the reverse bear trap onto a table, then finding a rack of janitor clothes, he rips off strips of cloth to doctor his wounds.

Jill looks on in horror, her hands over her mouth.

Flash to Hoffman, carrying the bear trap, unlocking a padlocked door, and exiting.

(Weird, perhaps since Jill was already there hiding & waiting for him, when he arrived after killing Peterson & Perez, he might have locked himself in–which seems contrived & stupid).

Cut to Hoffman entering another Jigsaw workshop,littered with Billy the Puppet parts, drawings, tools, & models. (How many of these fucking workshops did John Kramer have; this is like the fifth one so far.) He opens a cabinet & gets some real bandages & medical supplies. Somewhere in the background we hear a TV on, & the reporter saying: Tonight, another horror of horrors from within the Zoological Institute.

Flash to the television screen, where we see a photo of William Easton, CEO of Umbrella Insurance.

Track back to Hoffman staring in a big mirror at his wounded face.

VO: There may be as many as seven survivors.

CU as Hoffman stitches up his jaw & his right cheek.

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Cut to a sign, METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT.

We are introduced to Detective Gibson.

Gibson to officer Rogers: What’s up?

Camera dollys back into a wide shot & we see Jill Tuck sitting yet again in an interrogation room behind another two-way mirror.

Gibson: What do we have here?

Rogers: That’s Jill Tuck, Jigsaw’s widow (hard to believe there are any cops left in that department who seriously did not know who Jill was). All she said was she did not trust the FBI, & that she just wants to talk with you.

Gibson: Why me?

Rogers: I don’t know, but only you though.

Gibson: She looks crazier than a sackful of rats–but alright. 

Cut to Gibson entering the room, giving her some coffee, & introducing himself as Matt Gibson.

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Jill: I want to speak with you, but I will need complete immunity-because of what I know.

Gibson: Which is what?

Jill: Do we have a deal?

Gibson: In this house, Jill, you have to give something before you can receive.

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Jill: My husband, John, had an accomplice–a person who assisted him with almost every murder; and now this person will go on killing until he is stopped. You know him & he definitely knows you. He is Detective Mark Hoffman.

Gibson: Are you willing to sign a sworn affidavit? Do you swear to be completely open with us–tell me everything, no matter how personal or private?

Jill: Yes, yes–I will give you evidence, whatever you want, as long as I have your protection & complete immunity–do we have a deal?

Gibson, eyes large, smiling:  Oh, yeah!

 

Flashback to Hoffman still at the workshop, stitching up his jaw & face. (hard to tell the timeline here, as to when the previous scene took place). Hoffman breaks up his cell phone with a hammer, then burns his ID in a barrel (a burning barrel inside?)

CU of his face; he seems to have done a fairly good job at patching himself up. He opens a file folder, and we see a nice 8×10 (who took these numerous shots of the game victims; just asking.) of Bobby Dagen.

 

Cut to the exterior of a Television Studio.

Flash to an interview show.

Donna Evans; Welcome back; we are talking with Bobby Dagen, whose national tour of  his new book S.U.R.V.I.V.E. : MY STORY OF SURVIVING JIGSAW, rolls into town. You are quite the phenomenon these days. 

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Bobby: Well, thank-you. It is remarkable how many people are responding to my story, & if I can help a few people along the way–then I’m pleased. 

Donna: You survived a trap set by the infamous Jigsaw killer. What exactly was that like?

Bobby: Life-changing, something I never could have anticipated–something that probably should have killed me. I have no recollection of how I got there; just woke up in  trap. I had to sink hooks into my pectoral muscles & hoist myself up.

Jump Cuts

to a small audience observing the interview from behind the cameras; a lot of young women gathered on one point; who we find out later were his wife, publicist, accountant, & lawyer.

Bobby: I thought I couldn’t hand on any longer, feared that I was going to die–then I found inner strength. I decided to live. I just yanked until I got to the top, then I ripped the hooks out of my chest; there was blood everywhere.

Cuts to reaction shots on the faces of the four women, and a young man who looked like he was the director.

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I stood there screaming & screaming. I had done more than merely surviving. It was like I was reborn. This was my new life.

The interview is concluded, and the entourage is upset that Bobby did not acknowledge his new wife, Joyce, as had been planned; and seal it with an on-camera kiss.

Director: Don’t worry about it, you were great.  

Joyce: It’s OK, Bobby, your story is real, & people like that. I know that you get overwhelmed at times, but remember you were meant to do this–we must keep moving forward. 

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Director: I’ve set up a meeting with some of the other Survivors tomorrow–a 30 minute chat so that they can relate their experiences too. You will moderate it. 

 

Cut to Jill Tuck coming out of a police station, snow on the ground.

Flash to two police cars parked perpendicular to each other, their colored lights flashing, with Billy the Puppet’s tricycle sitting empty in the headlights.

Flash to someone attacking her right there in plain view of the police station (WTF?)

Cut to gloved hands making some equipment adjustments.

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CU Hoffman’s face, his new scars still bloody. He starts a generator. We see the trademark Jigsaw concentric circle whirling on a gear head. Further we see that the equipment is some kind of sled, held back at the top of some kind of ramp, & that it has  four foot wide large spearhead mounted on the front of it.

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Flash to Jill Tuck, in a fetching hot pink mini-skirt nightie; hair & make-up perfect, tied with each hand above her head, her arms outstretched, lashed to the tracks, directly in the path of the spearhead sled.

Jill: Oh, God.

Hoffman: Do you want to know the only thing wrong with killing you, Jill? I can only do it once!

He releases the revved-up sled, and it begins to bear down on Jill, whom we notice is bra-less & is nipping out of her nightie.

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Jill: OMG, I’m fucked!

The spearhead sled hits her at full speed, cutting her in half as her body parts fly into pieces, entrails & limbs exploding into a bloody fireworks splatter.

Cut to her waking up from the nightmare in her pink nightie in her own bed.

 

Cut to a new trap. Evan is glued into the front seat of a wrecked car, shirtless, lots of tattoos (ever notice how many Jigsaw victims are covered in tatts?) There is a cassette tape with EVAN on it sticking out of a tape player in the dash.

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Evan: Help me! What the fuck is happening?

We see that his back is covered with some kind of industrial glue, holding him into the front seat. The cassette snaps on:

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John: Hello, Evan. I want to play a game. The situation you find yourself in, is of your own doing. You, your girlfriend, & your two friends are all Racists. You have intimidated others based on their physical differences–but today, it is you who will run scared, & your friends will share your fate, Evan. You are the only one capable of saving them & yourself. In 30 seconds, the jacks holding up this car, will fail, setting off a deadly chain of events.

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Flash to a young woman chained to a Mechanic’s roller positioned under the rear tires,

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a man chained both to a post, & to the rear of the car,

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& another man chained in the crucifixion posture on the garage door in front of the car.

In order to stop this from happening, you must free yourself away from the seat to which you are now glued, & you must pull the red lever before you (the windshield in front of him is broken, and the red lever is out of the back of the hood, just out of reach); but no act comes without a sacrifice. You have judged others because of the color of their skin–and today, Evan, you will learn that we are all the same color on the inside. Live or die. The choice is yours.

A timer starts ticking down; 29:00 seconds.

The car engine starts up, & it is in gear, so that the rear wheels are spinning right over the face of the girlfriend, now screaming.

Jump Cuts:

multiple CU’s of the victims:

Fuck, fuck, stop this! Do it, man! Fuck this! Get us the fuck out of here! Hurry up! Baby, get this fucking car off me! 

Evan is screaming, beginning to tear the skin off his back, & the back of his arms.

Flash to the speedometer–35 mph.

The woman’s face is right below those spinning tires.

Flash to the man behind the car, with chains attached to his arms, legs, lips & cheeks.

Flash to Evan pulling hard, tearing the flesh off himself; the red lever is still beyond his reach, they are all joining into a chorus of screaming, with the word Fuck as the primary song lyric.

The timer shows there are 19 seconds left.

The speedometer shows the engine is revving at 70 mph.

The time is up; 00:00 seconds.

The jacks under the car collapse.

The car drops down hard, squashing the woman’s head as we hear a horrible popping sound like a sledgehammer hitting a cantaloupe.  The car lurches forward at full speed. The chained man in back has his face & both arms torn off.

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The car smashes through the garage door, pulverizing the man chained on it. The car hits a parked vehicle outside, ejecting Evan through the windshield, even though I thought he was chained inside it, & his body crashes through the windshield of the parked car, breaking his neck, snapping it like a dry twig.

Cut to the meeting of the Jigsaw survivors, set up in a church sanctuary. A black woman walks in & sits down with them, adjusting her prosthetic left arm–it’s Simone from SAW VI. Bobby is leading the discussion, letting Sidney talk about her trap experience;

Cut to her & a white man hanging in harnesses over 50 whirling saw blades. Sidney swings over to the man & knocks him in the face, tipping him out of the harness as he drops down screaming into those hungry blades. He is cut into 1000 pieces as she is sprayed by his hot blood.

Bobby: Sidney, look at me. You made a decision. How did that make you feel?

Sidney: Free. He was fucking abusive. I tried to stop it before, but it wasn’t until that moment I really did something about it. It was him or me, & I chose to live. I tell you, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Simone: What a crock of shit! He had to die for you to leave him? You know the best thing that happened to me after having to cut off my own arm is now I can use handicapped parking at the damn mall!  Say, what the hell’s are these cameras here for anyway?

Flash to the TV director, and his ladies’ posse, looking upset.

Bobby: I’m simply here to establish that people who are forced to endure what we have can still have a positive outcome–that’s all.

Simone: Yeah, like what?

Bobby: Like a new perspective on life. I understand that you personally are not at that place yet, but look around you at all these people who are. 

We recognize Mallick, Tara & her son, & a couple of others.

Bobby: Hey, I would like to have everybody look at something (he unbuttons his shirt) These are my scars (in his pecs & six-pack). Our minds can heal, but our scars will never go away–but these scars should not be a symbol of shame. Make your choice. The clock is ticking. 

Bobby looks over to his wife: Earlier I spoke of valuing your loved ones, but to be perfectly honest, that’s something I never did prior to my ordeal–but since then I’ve found someone who has truly become my rock.

Flash to Joyce’s smiling face, real tears in her eyes. He calls her to come over.

Bobby: This is my lovely wife, Joyce.

They embrace, as previously choreographed.

A shadowed figure claps sarcastically, slowly. We see it is Dr. Gordon.

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Gordon: Bravo! To be able to sustain such a traumatic experience & yet somehow find a positive vibe within that grizzly act–what a remarkable feat, indeed. Yes, remarkable–if not a little perverse. I’m sure that I speak for everyone here when I say how very grateful we are to be allowed to be part of your promotional DVD. 

He claps on; reluctantly a few others join into the clapping.

Flash to the Director exiting with Bobby & the three babes.

Bobby sends Joyce & a bodyguard out to their car.

Cale: Who the fuck was the creepy guy with the cane? Do you know him?

Bobby: No, but I still think that things are fine.

Cale: Great work tonight, Bobby–you the man!

Bobby exits.

Cut to the parking lot. He walks up to his car which is empty. Joyce?

Bobby is attacked. (all the Attacks in this movie are flash jump cuts; we are not really allowed to see much of the assailants.)

 

Cut to Gibson at the morgue:

Gibson: What the fuck happened to him?

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pointing to a bloody limbless torso lying face down on a table.

Dr Heffner: You know they always tell you not to smoke while at the gas station.

(welcome to some Jigsaw humor). He hands Gibson a file folder, who is receiving a call on his cell phone.

Cut to the wrecking yard where the Evan trap had been.

Rogers: Jesus, we responded to a call about a car crash, but it turned out to be a murder scene.

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The camera pans over the woman with the squashed head & torso,  & the chained man with no face & no arms. A crane shot pulls into a wide view so that we see a dozen police cars & twice that of forensic team. Camera dollys-down to Rogers at the death car, looking at the bloody front seat. He grabs the Jigsaw tape for evidence. Detective Gibson has now arrived at the scene.

Rogers: So what do you think?

Gibson: Just why–what is this display about? Why now? Why them?

Rogers: Well, you know he likes to put on a show.

Cut to a filthy restroom in the adjoining garage; on the wall a message in capital red letters: GIBSON, SEE FOR YOURSELF–The bloody reverse bear trap is on the floor.

Gibson: Get Forensics in here now–tell them to haul ass & dust the place for prints.

Cut to another new Jigsaw trap.

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Camera tracks along the bars of a large steel cage with someone in a blue shirt inside it. A man wakes up, finding himself trapped, realizes his plight, yells for help, & kicks ineffectively at the bottom of the cage. We see it’s Bobby Dagen.

A monitor clicks on, & we see the face or our favorite game show puppet, Billy:

John: Hello, Bobby. I want to play a game. You have amassed wealth, fame, & notoriety based on your story of survival. Many have aided in your cause. Few know the truth, that you are a liar. You & I both know you’ve never been in a trap, nor have you ever been tested. Today your lies will come full circle & you will learn if you truly have what it takes to call yourself a survivor. The tiny cage you find yourself in will symbolize your rebirth. Within the next 60 minutes, you must stay on the path of learning & traverse a series of obstacles to obtain access to your wife, who you have also deceived. If you fail to reach her before the clock runs out, she will most certainly die. Live or die, Bobby. Make your choice!

Something new, a neon message flashes on; START YOUR LIFE ANEW.

Several bright spotlights snap on. Bobby squints into them.

Flash to gears turning above him.

The body cage is dragged along the floor & then it is jerked & hoisted upright into the air.

Flash to 50 whirling saw blades emerging out of the floor below him.

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The cage begins swinging & squeaking. Bobby struggles to reach a handle just above him, outside the open narrow top of the cage–finally clutching & pulling it as the bottom of the cage falls off & bangs onto the whirling blades, sparking & clanging. Bobby nearly falls out, has to hang on difficultly. Then he has a brilliant idea, and begins to swing the cage into a larger arc, that will propel him to a drop-off spot beyond the blades. He manages to do that quickly; rolling on the clean floor he looks at the timer, which registers 58:54 minutes.

Another TV monitor snaps on. On the screen we find his wife, Joyce, chained in another trap, watching him on her own monitor:

Joyce: Bobby, help me!

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In fine SAW tradition her real image appears just beyond the screen one. Her feet are chained to the metal deck below her. She is wearing a neck collar with a long chain attached to it, secured in the floor; allowing her to stand up. We see that she is watching Bobby, there on the floor, on her monitor.

Cut to a bar scene, a flashback; Bobby & Cale are drinking at the bar, watching a news show on a television, where a Jigsaw survivor is being interviewed regarding her terrible event, as she explains that the traumatic experience she had “cleared things up for her”,

I’m actually better for having endured it. I’m now stronger & grateful. It all helped me, & I wish the same for everyone like me.

CU of Cale, smirking.

CU of Bobby Dugan: If something like that doesn’t change my perspective on life, I sure as fuck don’t know what would. 

Cale: Yeah, it’s weird too, because if any of these survivors weren’t so fucked up after their ordeal, they could make a mint selling their story.

Booby’s eyes light up: No shit?

 

Cut back to Bobby on the floor of the new Trap. He sees Joyce waving to him from his monitor, but there’s no audio. Bobby scampers up some stairs to a set of double doors, with a Jigsaw message painted in red letters on it UNDERSTAND YOUR PROBLEM. He enters that room, & begins to follow a wide red painted line on the floor, zig-zagging along several Jigsaw hallways.

Cut to a police car parked outside a  house.

Flash to the interior where Gibson is plunking down the reverse bear trap on a chair in front of Jill Tuck who is sitting calmly on a bed.

Gibson: That’s a clever design–is it yours or your husband’s?

Jill: I’ve told you–everything was him.

Gibson: Well, here’s my problem, this trap was left for me by Hoffman & your fingerprints are all over it. When you told me that Hoffman had it in for you, you failed to mention that it was because you had tried to kill him. There is a new Game going on. Does that surprise you?

Jill: No.

Gibson: No? Christ, you are crazy. I knew you were fucking nuts the moment I laid eyes on you. So, OK, you crazy bitch, this is how it’s going to be. Until I catch Hoffman, this will be your new home; get comfortable in it.

Jill: What makes you think that he can’t find me here?

Gibson: Because it is a safe house, Jill, a fucking safe house.

He exits the room. Officer Palmer approaches him, holding up a DVD.

Palmer: We just received this–Hoffman knows she is here.

Gibson: Oh, shit, damn it!

Then he answers his cell phone; it’s Rogers, his black partner.

Cut to Rogers at the junkyard trap.

We just had a small explosion here at the crime scene.

Gibson: Anyone hurt?

Two more large explosion detonate at the junkyard.

Flash to cops & forensics scrambling for cover.

Flash to Gibson: Rogers, Rogers?

Flash to Rogers: Yeah, I’m still here.

Flash to Gibson: Get everyone out of there! Don’t touch anything else! Get the bomb squad to sweep the yard.

Then to Palmer: Well–play the DVD.

Hoffman appears: Hello, Gibson. It’s been a long time. What I want now is simple–give me Jill Tuck. You are protecting her despite the fact that she had direct knowledge throughout all the murders–which makes her complicit in every death. So I’ll make you a deal. Give her to me & the new Game stops, no one else dies. If not, everyone dies–and you will be to blame for it. Make your choice. The clock’s ticking. 

Gibson: Take her down to a secure holding cell at the station. Lock it double-down, meaning no one in or out without my authority or knowledge.

Cut back to Bobby wandering another Jigsaw hallway,  following the wide red line up to another doorway, reading another message in red caps; REDEFINE YOUR PRIORITIES. He enters that room.

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The lights come up. His co-worker, Nina is secured in a trap, tethered into a metal circular ring, with four opposing spikes creating an X of death, each pointing at her head.

Nina: Oh fuck, OMG, get me out of here, Bobby. Help me, please.

Bobby begins to fiddle with her neck collar brace, but this seems to hurt her more.

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Flash to a nearby cassette recorder; PLAY ME on it, written in red ink.

John: Hello, Bobby. Before you lose one of your trusted colleagues, 

Flash to an overhead crane shot; Nina is lashed into a straight-jacket, with a stiff locked neck brace.

She has been your publicist for years, has known about your lies but chooses to speak no evil & she has been richly rewarded for her false work. But today, she can only be rewarded for her silence. In the X-ray in front of you clearly you can see there is a key lodged in her throat, on a hook, tied to fish line. This key will shut off her device; but there is, of course, a catch. You will have only one minute to pull that fish hook out of her throat, or the four spikes will penetrate her neck & silence her forever. Remember that the stakes will go higher each time the sound decimal level in this room rises.

( The voice on the tape is John Kramer’s, & I suppose that we are to remember from SAW VI that Hoffman could fake this over a recording of his own voice; cool. Hey, I just realized that we are now 40 minutes into the movie, & we have seen nothing of Tobin Bell at all; way strange.) So will Nina live or die? The choice is yours.

Flash to big gears turning, the one minute timer starts.

( Another critic’s bug up my butt at the moment has to do with Hoffman, who certainly is not a brilliant engineer like John was, even if he took two fucking  engineering classes in night school perhaps; so how could he erect complexly-engineered traps better than the early ones John built? “Chill,” said the left-brain monkey on my shoulder, “It’s just an Indie horror movie, # 7 in the series; so fuck logic.”)

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Flash to the sharp edges on the spikes.

Flash to Nina screaming.

Flash to the decimal level reader rising.

Bobby tries to cover her mouth.

“Shut-up, please, OK?”

She complies.

He begins to pull the fish hook line out of her throat.

Nina: Just fucking do it!

Bobby gives it a strong yank; we hear flesh lining tearing.

Nina begins screaming again, loudly.

Bobby covers her mouth again.

Flash to the gears turning faster now.

Flash to the lethal spikes.

Bobby: Shut the fuck up, be quiet; you can do this!

He pulls & yanks on the fish line.

She begins screaming loudly.

Flash to the spikes moving toward her neck & eyes.

He pulls very strongly, & the hook hangs up; blood spurts out, splashing Bobby’s face. She is screaming even worse.

There were 10 seconds left.

Flash to him with his jaw set, finally pulling the hooked key out, as she  wailed as if her tits were being flailed.

Bobby takes the slimy bloody key & tries to get it into the machine’s padlock.

Flash to the timer; 00:00 seconds.

Flash to gears spinning furiously.

Flash to the four spikes moving rapidly.

Flash to CU of her face, her mouth and chin covered in blood, looking like Lady Dracula muff-diving at the wrong time of month; red-winging it.

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Flash to CU of all four spikes penetrated her neck, slicing the juggler, popping open her neck like peeling a mango with a machete; killing her quickly.

Bobby: No, fuck, no! Why couldn’t you just shut the fuck up?

He yelled angrily at her dead eyes.

 

Cut to the Master Timer–54:00 minutes left.

Flash to a monitor showing Bobby in B&W leaving the room.

Flash to Joyce: OMG, no, fuck no!

Flash to her neck chain clicking a couple links deeper into the deck. Joyce is screaming as the shortened chain drags her to her knees.

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Cut to Bobby entering another room.

Flash to a copy of his book, S.U.R.V.I.V.E., setting on a tray. He opens it, & we see it was autographed, TO JOHN.

Cut to an earlier Book signing event, with a large poster of him on the wall behind. A woman approaches his table, & puts her copy down in front of him.

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Bobby: Your name?

Sara, without the H. I just want to say that I loved your book so much. It was like I could feel everything you went through. I feel like your book changed my life. 

Bobby: Thanks, I appreciate that.

A tall man approaches the table & plops his copy down; we see it is John Kramer.

(Alright, so at that moment, more than 3 sequels ago, Jigsaw was still alive; that implies that Bobby had been running his scam for a long time.)

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Jigsaw: The name is John, with an H, without an H–doesn’t matter (looking around).You have quite the Army working for you here–spreading the word.

Bobby: We do try to get the word out to as many people as possible.

John, leaning in: You don’t see anything wrong with that?

Bobby: No, sir, I don’t.

Flash the autograph page; this is the same copy of the book he would encounter in the trap;( but so how did Hoffman even know about it? Had Jigsaw fully planned this whole new trap & Hoffman was just killing by numbers?)

John: You know, history is a passion with me. In ancient Egypt when you spoke under oath, one was required to say, “If I am lying, take me to the quarries for punishment–does that mean anything to you?

Bobby: No, sir, it doesn’t. 

John: I’ll tell you what it means. If you knowingly lied on the public record, you were put into a place of enslavement. 

Bobby: What are you implying?

John: I’m not implying anything, Bobby.

Cale comes over to check out the fuss.

John: Thanks for the signature ( peeling off the loose paper cover). Nice picture, but I don’t need it. I’m so glad we met.

CU Bobby looking at himself on the slip cover.

 

Cut back, of course, to Bobby holding the book in the trap room.

Cut to a CSI worker bringing bodies into the morgue from the junkyard trap.

Gibson: Get onto these bodies right away; pretend it’s a rush job.

Dr. Heffner rises up from his desk to comply.

Cut to Gibson reviewing the Hoffman/Jigsaw tape.

Whoa, did you see that? (pointing to an angel garden statue). I know that from someplace.”

Palmer gets his attention as she says: Hey, I’ve got something over here. We might know now who is in this latest Game. This security tape was just sent to us. The guy’s name is Bobby Dagen.

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Flash to the monitor screen as Hoffman attacks & sedates Bobby by his car.

He is some famous Jigsaw survivor, selling books, going on talk shows. His wife & handlers are all missing too.

 

Cut back to Bobby entering a new room, following another painted red arrow; message on the wall VERIFY YOUR SELF WORTH THROUGH COMMITMENTS. He enters the room & finds his lawyer chained to the floor of a machine.

Suddenly the original metal cage he had been trapped in crashes through a plate glass window, & inside it is our friendly Billy the Puppet; a nice touch.

John: Hello, Bobby. That feeling running through your body is fear; the fear of not knowing if you have what it takes to survive. Before you is your lawyer, who swore an oath to uphold ethics, but chose to see no evil. Now once her device begins to rotate, it will pierce her eyes & mouth with spikes if you don’t delay its movement. You will have only 30 seconds to stop it. To accomplish this you must step into the opposite side of the machine & lift the shoulder bars long enough to close the circuits, slowing down the device–but if you do nothing, she will die before the clock runs out. Do you have what it takes to help her? Make your choice.

Flash to a timer–29:00 seconds.

The lawyer panicking as she said: “Hurry up, OMG, fucking hurry! Come on!”

Bobby tries to move those thick bars, but it proves to be very difficult. He does manage to get the machine to slow down a little, but then he slips, & the bars slam back down.

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Jump Cuts:

Her kicking, squirming, screaming.

The sharp spikes getting closer to her head.

Bobby exhausted, but trying again to lift the bars.

Lawyer:Oh God, get me out of here! Fuck, don’t let me die!

Bobby is screaming with effort, but the machine is only slowly slightly. In true Jigsaw fashion, of course, as he strains to lift the bars, metal spikes are pressing against his rib cage; complicating any attempt at rescue.

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Flash to the woman, her device like a gerbil’s round toy, is pulling her upright, directly across from the oncoming spikes. She is screaming with fear. He is screaming with effort; the bolts are beginning to hurt him badly.

Flash to the timer–20 seconds;

the spikes are almost at her face; a red warning bulb begins flashing. He drops to his knees, & the wooden bars clunk back down just as the spikes pierce both her eyes & her mouth, driving straight through her skull, through her optic nerve & into the brain.

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Bobby staring at the dead lawyer is weeping, screaming, howling.

Flash to his image on Joyce’s monitor.

The neck chain on her trap clicks two more links into the floor, bending her forward toward the floor: No, no, no. 

Cut back to the devastated Bobby; an exit door pops open, & he flees.

 

Cut to Jill sitting in her maximum security holding cell reading a book; perhaps Bobby’s, or one of John’s. Gibson & Rogers enter.

Gibson: Hey, do you know this guy? (flashing a photo of Bobby Dagen). 

Jill: I have seen him on TV, but I don’t know him.

Gibson: Did your husband?

Jill: I don’t know.

Cut back to Gibson’s office.
Palmer: Hoffman just sent us an email video.

Gibson: Can you find out where it came from?

Palmer: That will depend on how many proxy-servers he went through.

Gibson: So, play it.

Hoffman: Hello, Gibson; once again we’re at a moral crossroads. I don’t blame you for not giving  me Jill Tuck, but you shouldn’t let an old grudge cloud your judgement. Look to where you are being led–look beyond the crossroads to the clear dawn. Do you see it?

Gibson: Shit, I get it, let’s go.

He & Roger leave the room.

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Cut back to Bobby wandering in a Jigsaw hallway, sees a message on another door; IGNORE YOUR DISTRACTIONS. He enters the next room.

Bobby: Joyce?

The door locks itself behind him. We see that this room only has a partial floor, most of it is missing, allowing us to look down into the room below it. Bobby looks across the vast hole of the room to the other side.  Cale is standing on the edge of a ledge, blinded by a trap helmet, face bloodied.

Cale: Is that you, Bobby; where the hell are you?

Bobby: Don’t move. Do you know where Joyce is?

Çale: This is some sort of test. No, I don’t know where Joyce is–I’m fucking blind, man.

We see that Cale is wearing a long chain, the end of it secured to the door behind him.

Bobby: Be careful, we’re not on the ground floor, & lot of the floor in this room is missing. So don’t move yet.

Cale: What the fuck are you saying? Get me the fuck down from here!

Bobby finds a cassette recorder; PLAY ME.

John: Hello, Bobby. Across from you is your closest friend. He knows all your secrets. Yet he acts as though he hears no evil. Today, what he will hear will be the difference between life & death. So you must tell Cale to walk over the narrow planks, to get as close to you as possible.  The key to unlock his head gear is hanging near you. You must get it to him across the last span between you. If the cable noose around his neck is not removed in 60 seconds, it will activate & the truth will be left hanging. Does Cale live or die, Bobby? The choice is yours. 

Cale begins thrashing around blindly.

Bobby: Calm down, shut the fuck up, & just listen to me for once. I will get as close to you as I can. Now I need to have you shuffle to the right, moving out carefully onto a plank.

Cale does this while muttering: Oh, oh, fuck this! This is fucking crazy, oh,oh. 

Flash to his feet, shuffling along the narrow plank.

Flash to the timer–39 seconds left.

Bobby: Ok, Cale, I’m on my way. There is another plank 10 degrees to your right. 

Cale: Yeah, I feel it; I got it. 

 

Jump Cuts:

Get me out of this fucking thing, Bobby. 

Bobby: Calm down; concentrate on feeling the plank with your feet. Relax, you are OK.

Flash to Cale’s plank breaking, with him barely hanging on to another one; blind, choking, screaming. Bobby leaps over to another plank, trying to get closer to Cale.

Flash to the timer–23 seconds.

Bobby is getting closer to the hanging key. Cale has managed to crawl back up onto a plank.

Jump Cuts:

Cale crawling on the plank on all fours.

Bobby reaching, straining to get the key, then finally snagging it.

Timer registers 9 seconds left.

Bobby: I’ve got the key! I’m going to throw it to you. Put your hands closer to your chest. On 3, OK? 1,2,3.

Bobby tosses across the key, but it bounces out of Cale’s blind hands, & falls to the chamber below them.

Bobby: Oh, no.

Cale: Oh, fuck no!

Flash to 00:00 time left.

Cale is jerked up into the air off the plank. We clearly hear his neck snap.

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Cut to Joyce, seeing all this on her monitor, as the neck chain clicks itself two more links into the metal deck. She is on all fours now.

Cut to Gibson & Rogers kicking in a door, Rogers holding a riot shotgun, then rushing into a room.

Rogers: Fuck, there’s nobody here.

Gibson: But there was–look over there!

Flash to the white garden cupid angel statue that had been in the background in Hoffman’s DVD.

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Rogers: But why would he want us to come here?

Gibson: For me to remember. This is where he saved my life. When I  was still in uniform I responded to a distress call here.

Cut to Gibson in uniform entering the premises.

VO: That was back when this place was a flop house for junkies & the homeless.

Flash to Gibson being attacked by a long-haired junkie, who overpowered him & took his service revolver from him.

Junkie: Don’t you fucking move, cop.

We see Hoffman appearing behind the assailant.

Hoffman: Drop that gun!

Which the junkie does just as Hoffman fired off three shots into his back.

Flash to the “present”, as Rogers gave him a hard look:

Gibson: Yeah, he assaulted me, had the drop on me, but that shouldn’t  have been a death sentence for him. (WTF, Gibson, in this case the junkie probably would have wasted you, taken your wallet, gone to your house & fist-fucked your wife!).

Flashback to the junkie death scene. Hoffman helps him get up off the floor.

Hoffman: Next time you shoot first, dipshit.

VO: I had no choice but to report him for officer brutality.

 

Cut back to Gibson & Rogers:

Rogers: So what the hell happened?

Gibson: Shit, I was just a rookie–he got a promotion & got to walk a beat in the ghetto. Then I joined Internal Affairs, & I got to bust three of his dishonest buddies. He swore he would get me back. This place was called the Crossroads–look beyond the crossroads to the clear dawn, he said; He must be referring to the Clear Dawn Psychiatric Center. That place has been shut down for years.

Rogers: Jesus, that must be where the new Game is being held.

Gibson: I will check it out; you hustle back & guard Jill Tuck. Don’t let her out of your sight.

Cut to Bobby reading a sign on the wall: LOVED ONES.

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Flash to another monitor snapping on. We see Joyce on her hands & knees, her neck chain much shorter than before.

Joyce: Bobby, I’m here.

Bobby: Baby, I can see you & I can hear you.

Joyce: Me too. Who is doing this to us?

Bobby: It ain’t the Easter Bunny, honey. I’m on my way. Just hang in there. There has to be another message tape around here.

At that very moment, Billy the Puppet appears on a monitor screen.

John: Hello, Bobby. Before you use that door that leads to your wife, first you must make a choice. As you may have guessed, your decision will be as difficult as pulling teeth. The box before you requires a four-digit combination in order to open up. Before access though, you will have to make a tiny sacrifice. Watch & learn, Bobby. The necessary numbers have been etched on four of your teeth. Look on the chart in front of you as a reference for which teeth to pull, & which order to enter the digits. Time is clicking down. You must make your decision quickly.

Bobby walks over to the Box. A pair of dyke pliers are sitting on top of it.

Joyce, on the screen: Bobby?

Bobby: Baby, I don’t want you to watch this.

 

Jump Cuts

Joyce watching Bobby on her monitor.

Bobby consulting the tooth chart. He reaches in with the pliers & grips one of his molars.

Joyce: No, fuck no!

 

Cut to the police in SWAT mode rushing into another building, cops swarming all over;

Clear, clear, (fucking) clear!!!

Gibson appears & can see Joyce on a monitor–

The Game’s still on.

 

Cut back to Bobby still yanking out his teeth. We hear teeth cracking & breaking; his mouth is very bloody.

Jump Cuts:

Squads of cops rushing about.

Bobby yanking at his teeth.

Five quick cuts from one to the other.

Flash on the cops entering Nina’s death room.

Cut to Officer Palmer checking data on an office computer. She calls Gibson, who is at a crime scene.

Flash between both locations:

Palmer: I figured out where that email video from Hoffman came from.

Gibson: Where?

Palmer: Pete’s Auto Body.

Gibson: Isn’t that the location of the Car Trap?

Palmer: That is correct.

Gibson: Seeing a timer–19 minutes left.

You guys keep looking here–I’m going after Hoffman.

 

Cut to Rogers still guarding Jill Tuck at the police station; his cell phone rings, he answers it.

Jill: What happened?

Rogers: Gibson has found Hoffman’s location, so the Game is not over.

Cut back to Bobby screaming as still was yanking at his teeth. The top of the box & the table edge is covered in his blood

Cut to the police entering the lawyer’s death room. They hear Bobby screaming off in the distance;

Cop: We still got a live one. 

 

Flash Cuts:

SWAT team rushing around in the dark.

Bobby on his knees, exhausted, almost unconscious.

Cops finding the Cale death room:

Careful, we can’t cross here.

Bobby pulling out the last tooth, then lining them up in a pool of blood, & noting the numbers. He rushes to the box, opens the combination lock, & switches off one timer. (Shit-fire, Miss Agnes; what did he accomplish here? I guess this meant the door to Joyce is unlocked now, but lots of murky plot here).

Cut To Gibson arriving back at the wrecking yard Car Trap:

You two–go get your shotguns, & follow me.

He re-enters the filthy restroom, & breaks the full length mirror where Hoffman had left him a message–& finds a “secret” room. They creep in & find someone wearing a hoodie, slumped over in a chair; Guns at the ready, Gibson barked: You fucking freeze, Hoffman. Hands in the air!

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Cut back to Bobby rushing into a large new room. He finally has found Joyce.

Joyce: Oh, Bobby–I knew you would find me. I knew you could do this.

He starts toward her, but WHAM, he is severely shocked by three hot electric wires strung up all around her platform.

Time for a monitor to snap on…& of course, it does as Billy the Puppet pontificates menacingly:

John: Hello, Bobby. You’ve almost completed your rebirth. However, your final task will be your most difficult one. The woman in front of you symbolizes your success. She is your trophy, & she has seen the good in you, despite its dishonest beginnings.

Joyce: What’s he talking about?

Today we will see if you can truly earn her love, to prove your devotion. You must overcome a Game that should be all too familiar to you;

Bobby climbs up to a second level, & finds two meathooks dangling down.

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You supposedly survived this Game once already, so it should be easy for you to survive it again. In order to free yourself & your wife, you must hoist yourself with these chains & connect the extension cords above you before the clock expires. Both hands will be needed to complete this task–for you claim to understand that the pectoral muscles can easily hold your weight. So, can you do this? Will you have a future with your wife? Make your choice.

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Joyce: What does all this mean?

Bobby: Oh, baby, I lied. I was never in a trap.

Cut to the SWAT team kicking down another door.

Cut to Gibson only finding a bloodied dummy in the chair in front of him.

Cut back to Joyce:

Why did you let me believe the lie?

Bobby: I promise you, I’m going to make this right.

He strips off his shirt.

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Cut to Gibson in the work shop, looking at several monitors.

Christ, he’s been tapped into the station’s security systems. He has been watching us the whole time!

Flash Cuts:

Hoffman: Make your choice.

Hoffman activating the bombs at the junk yard.

Hoffman stealing one of the victim’s bodies after the police ran off.

Gibson: He sees everything we are doing at the station.

He calls Palmer at the office. Suddenly two mechanical machine guns pop up & fill the air with steel-jacketed death hornets.

Gibson is cut down quickly, & the two cops with him were cut to pieces from .50 caliber daggers.

Flash to Palmer:

Gibson, is that you? Are you still there?

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Flash to Gibson’s dead face on the floor.

 

Cut to the morgue:

Dr. Heffner, bored & fatigued, unzipping a body bag;

Detective Hoffman leaps out of it armed with a long knife, slicing the Coroner’s throat in one lethal swipe–Dr. Heffner goes down onto the floor, spurting blood like a rogue fire hydrant. Hoffman gets to his feet, wiping the blood off his face; then hears the CSI assistant coming. He waits by the door, and cuts the throat of the forensics man easily.

Cut to the cops entering another large room, where a sign is posted: YOU WERE WARNED. The tricky door locks behind them & the room fills immediately with some kind of lethal gas; the cops have no gas masks, so the three of them drop quickly to the floor clutching their mouths.

Cut back to the police station where Hoffman sneaks up behind another officer, knifing him in the kidney; & as he turns, knifes him in the throat.

Cut back to Bobby: I do love you, Joyce–I never lied about that.

He shoves the first meathook into his left pectoral, followed by a lot of screaming in pain.

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Cut to Palmer still trying to raise Gibson on the phone. Hoffman appears behind her, puts a choke hold on her & snaps her neck; doing his best Michael Myers imitation.

Flashback to Bobby sinking the second metal hook into his right pectoral–screaming silently.

Joyce: I love you too, Bobby.

Cut to Hoffman staring through a window at Rogers’ back, inside the holding cell guarding Jill Tuck.

Cut to Bobby beginning to hoist himself up with the chains anchored in his chest.

Flash to the timer–1:42 minute left.

Flash to Jill pacing nervously in her cell.

Cut to Hoffman putting the dead Palmer’s face up to the small window outside the outer cell protecting the holding cell. The cop inside, of course, recognizes Palmer, does not use any intercom check, & just opens the door. Palmer is shoved dead into his arms as Hoffman smilingly slices the man’s juggler vein.

Jill: What was that?

Flash to Bobby hoisting himself higher & higher.

Flash to the timer–1:28 minutes.

Flash to Hoffman holding another cop’s pistol, pointing it at the back of Roger’s head.

Jill: I tell you someone is out there!

Rogers is shot three times in the back of his head.

Jill screams as Hoffman walks calmly into the anteroom.

I’ve been looking for you.

He takes the cell key from the dead Detective Rogers & opens the cell door. Jill stabs him in the neck with a nail file, and runs out of the cell. Pulling the nail file out of his neck, Hoffman said:

Fucking bitch.

Jill rushes around the empty office, fully panicked.

 

Cut back to Joyce: Bobby, please hurry!

Bobby is hoisting himself higher & higher– (but the scene appears odd, then I realize he is not actually moving; only the chain is moving).  Bobby is able to grasp one of the extension cords, screaming as his weight settled on one of the hooks.

Flash to Jill, running down empty hallways. She discovers the dead detective, and runs into to his office to hide, slinking down low behind some steel file cabinets.

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Cut back to Bobby dangling & screaming;

Flash to the timer–00:27 seconds.

Joyce is screaming.

Bobby grabs the second extension cord, & as he lets go of the chain & tries to connect the two cords, the hooks rip out of his chest & he falls the 10 feet to the floor.

Cut back to Hoffman, walking calmly in the station hallway, immediately assesses the situation, and enters the office where Jill is hiding; which, as it turns out is not an office at all; rather it is a repository for Jigsaw artifacts & traps; a special evidence room. He switches on the light,& Jill coughs. He sees her, approaches then kicks her in the face.

Cut back to Bobby & Joyce–09 seconds left.

Bobby struggles to his feet just as timer runs out–00:00 seconds.

A huge steel armadillo shell comes up & encases Joyce, as tall flames erupt on all sides of it. Bobby panics & charges the electric hot wires which zap him into unconsciousness.

Cut to Hoffman dragging Jill by her feet.

He pulls out a sturdy Jigsaw chair, with leather restraints intact. She is struggling to get up. He grabs her by the neck, & smashes her face into the table three times:

1–You

2–Fucking

3–Bitch!!!,

then he puts her on his shoulder.

Cut to Bobby coming to, hearing

Joyce screaming, Bobby! Bobby!

Her flesh begins to burn.

Bobby stands helpless, useless: Joyce! Joyce!

 

Cut back to Hoffman

slamming Jill Tuck down into the Jigsaw chair & roughly tightening the leather arm & leg straps. ( I notice he has been wearing tight leather gloves this whole time, leaving no fingerprints.)

Jump Cuts:

Joyce burning, her hair on fire,  her eyes closed;

Bobby jumping up & down like a manic monkey with an angry scorpion on its tail.

The trap flames growing higher & hotter.

Hoffman securing Jill even more tightly to the chair. (the camera could not help itself as it zoomed in tight on her bloody cleavage, with her nipping out of her sports bra).

Joyce burning while still alive, her skin peeling off her white-hot bones like a wax dummy, her hair completely burned off.

Bobby collapsing to his knees, whimpering.

Joyce quiet now, her flesh sizzling, cooking up like a skinny swine on a molten spit.

Cut back to Hoffman, looking over many of the old Jigsaw traps, & then spying the reverse bear trap he left for Gibson; smiling like a bull python ready to swallow a goat whole, he picks up the trap, & begins strapping it onto her head. Someone was nice enough to leave an allen-wrench that fits the tightening bolts perfectly. Finished, he sets the timer for 1 minute. Jill wakes up.

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Jump Cuts:

Jill Tuck rapid flashbacks from all the movies, while Hoffman sits there patiently, until the timer clicks, & the trap snaps shut crushing her skull & tearing her face off;

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CU of the bloody cavity on the front of her crushed skull where her face once was. She slumps forward, very dead.

Hoffman: smiling: Game over.

 

Cut to Hoffman in another of his Jigsaw lairs, packing several weapons & handfuls of cash into a green duffel bag. Of course, the TV is on, where a reporter is chattering about the gruesome dozen murders at the police station, most of the victims being police officers. Then Hoffman pours kerosene or gasoline, or both, on everything remaining.

Billy the Puppet watches silently from his chair as he is soaked in flammable liquid too.

VO: The police have sealed off the city. There is no escape. There are roadblocks set up on a 30 mile radius.

Hoffman drops a lighter into a trail/pool of accelerant, & exits.

While in the parking lot the building erupts like it was hit by a Howitzer shell.

Suddenly he is attacked by three people in Jigsaw Pig Masks; one of them stabbing him in the shoulder.

A tall man removes his mask; it is Dr. Gordon.

(but why do we never find out who the two accomplices are?)

Hoffman: What the fuck.

Flash to Jill Tuck depositing a package in Dr. Gordon’s mail slot two movies ago; one of the Jigsaw video tapes left to her by John;

John: Hello, Dr. Gordon. You are perhaps my greatest asset. 

Flash to John in the first trap dragging Dr. Gordon to safety.

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John: Congratulations, Dr. Gordon, you survived.

Flash to John nursing him back to health.

Flashback to the tape: Without you, my work over the last few years would not have been possible.

Jump Cuts

to Dr. Gordon assisting on many of the traps & murders.

(WTF, what about having to work with Amanda Young, & Detective Hoffman?)

flash to Dr. Gordon holding up a picture of Dr. Lynn Denlon;

Yes, Jeff’s wife, Dr. Lynn Denlon–she’ll be perfect.

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Ten more Jump Cuts:

Dr. Gordon stitching up the thug’s eyes & the lawyer’s mouth.

Gordon writing one of the I KNOW WHO YOU ARE notes,

(What about Strahm?)

Hoffman reading the note.

Cut back to the audio-tape:

That having been said, I do have a request. Watch over Jill, & should anything happen to her, I want you to act immediately on my behalf, & in return for that, I will keep no more secrets from you. I’ve shown you a lot of places, but there is one that should be most meaningful to you.

Flashes of every victim who has been in that blue tiled original bathroom shit hole.

Cut to Dr. Gordon entering it again, in the “present”.

Hoffman is on the floor, shoeless, his right leg chained to the pipes; he seems to be reaching for the old hacksaw not far from him.

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Gordon stops him.

Flash to Adam & Gordon both cutting their foot off.

Gordon: No, I don’t think so.

He tosses the hacksaw out into the hallway, breaking the dull blade.

Hoffman: What in the fuck do you think you are doing?

Gordon flips off the lights.

Hoffman: No, no, you can’t fucking do this to me!!

Gordon: Game Over!!!

He slams the sliding door shut

just as the closing credits roll.

 

Is this truly the end of the SAW saga?

Picture 27

TRIVIA:

 

It has been revealed by Lionsgate that although this was the end of the SAW franchise for the present–more movies are planned for the future, although it may be several years before another one comes out. (No shit? Will the next one be directed by Tobin Bell?). In a Showcase Cinema this film was accidently screened instead of the scheduled 3D cartoon MEGAMIND (2010)–which traumatized its young audience.

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Over 25 gallons of fake blood were used in the film. The scene in the beginning with the department store window required hiring 400 extras. This is the only film in the franchise  to include a trap done outside, in public. The garage trap scene had been written for an earlier SAW feature, but it was deemed to be too “disturbing” to be included; somebody decided to go with it for this one. The original concept for this film was that it would be released in two parts; but since SAW VI had disappointing BO, they decided to put out only Part One; sources have revealed that means that most of the script for Part Two will find its way into SAW VIII one day.

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Cary Elwes, often approached by producers to return to other sequels, always insisted that he would only return for the final entry in the series. This film had to be re-cut & resubmitted six times to obtain an “R” rating from the MMPAA, avoiding a NC-17 rating; perhaps it would have made more money with the original cut. There were some timeline issues for the action. The “love triangle” trap in the opening scene was supposed to be long before the film’s other events. There is supposed to be a two month time lapse from the time Jill Tuck came to IA & made her deal with Gibson, giving time for Hoffman’s injuries to heal, so that he could set up the Bobby trap.

(By the way, it is not really clear that Gibson is an Internal Affairs officer; only revealed later in the movie; this would have been helpful so that we could understand why he was to hot to catch Hoffman.)

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This was the first SAW movie not to have a roman numeral in its title; though some of the international movie posters put it back in: SAW VII. The trap scenes were all shot last. The film was banned in Germany. This one contained the first dream sequence ever used to fake us out. It had a 9 week shooting schedule, secondary to the arduous 3D technology, & it had a 20 million dollar budget. It cleared 45 million in BO in America. It was not screened in advance for the critics; never a good start. There are two SAW video games, so Tobin Bell has played Jigsaw nine times.

Gabby West won her role in this film through SCREAM QUEENS, as had Tanedra Howard before her. That is director Kevin Greutert’s wife playing the lady who asks Bobby Dugan to autograph her copy of his book. This was the highest grossing SAW film in the foreign markets. The writers stayed on the set for the shoot, assisting the director with rewrites & corrections. (Well) it was revealed on the writer’s commentary track that the two accomplices assisting Dr. Gordon subdue Hoffman were home boys, Brad & Brian from the opening trap; imagine that. In the original script, John Kramer was supposed to be included in the crowd watching the department store trap, but they could not stretch the timeline that far. Dr. Gordon would have standing beside him.

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Rotten Tomatoes rated the film at only 9% of Critic’s approval with 42% Audience approval; using 74 reviews to collect its data.

 

Jason Anderson of THE TORONTO STAR wrote: “Although the film hardly ends the series on a triumphant note, still it qualifies as one of the better entries.”

 

Nick Schrager of the VILLAGE VOICE wrote:” Just more of the same old putrid corpse.”

 

Steve Newton of GEORGIA STRAIGHT wrote: “SAW 3D is the seventh SAW Movie I have seen, & maybe the sickest–which is exactly what I wrote about SAW VI.”

 

Jeff Beck of EXAMINER.COM wrote: “ Why don’t the producers behind this series ever watch some of the older horror films & rediscover what made them good. Although, after six clones of the same film, it seems unlikely that they would ever figure it out.”

 

Andreas Heinemann of FLICKS.COM wrote: “This film proves the notion that this series has become the POLICE ACADEMY of torture porn.”

 

Jim Schembri of THE AGE wrote: “It is very fast-paced & straight-faced, & full of gotcha moments that play up the film’s effectively cheesy use of 3D.”

 

Marc Savlov of the AUSTIN CHRONICLE wrote: “ Hate, hate, hate–& did I say I hated it? RIP, Jigsaw, & stay dead this time.”

 

TOTAL FILM wrote: “ The 3D is barely there, the clanging machine-rock soundtrack is merciless, & the traps are decidedly ho-hum–even while running its final lap, SAW 3D oozes with mediocrity.”

 

Graham Young of the BIRMINGHAM POST wrote: “This repetitive round of mind-numbing stupidly elaborate traps have you pleading for your soul to be severely Tinkerbelled, not Tobin Belled.”

 

Cole Smith of SLASHER FLICKS wrote: “This kind of film has never been too big on story, but I contend that the entire SAW franchise has set the art of screenwriting back to the Stone Age. Good horror can scare you–this type just pisses you off.”

 

MY RATING OF THE FILM:

 

As my little brother is fond of saying, Fuck a bear, if you dare! 11 traps, 27 fatalities, Hoffman doing a Michael Myer rampage in the police station, Tobin Bell only getting 4 minutes of screen time, Cary Elwes only being squeezed into two scenes before the last five minute wrap-up; no real closure; will Hoffman escape a third trap, and get his revenge on Dr. Gordon? Will Brad & Brian open a striptease club with an all-male review? Can Part Two, the unfilmed script, sustain another SAW sequel? Who the fuck would they get to direct it, the make-up guy, J.J. Abrams, Joss Whedon, Rob Zombie??

This was a movie with more loose ends than my ragged-ass jeans, and yet I must say, I did enjoy the imaginative traps, the terrifically done gore effects, the final (perhaps) screen moments for Jill Tuck, killed spectacularly twice, the pumping up of the SAW Babe squad, even though nudity was left out yet again. As friends Bacchus & Sweaty are fond of saying, “some quality tit-shots can be the saving grace for a piece of shit film.” On our new HH rating scale of 10 stars, I would give this one a solid 6.5 stars.

 

For all you die hard SAWheads out there who may, or may not have read my reviews of the entire SAW SAGA, here are my results:

 

SAW (2004)–7.5 stars.

SAW II (2005)–7.5 stars.

SAW III (2006)–6 stars.

SAW IV (2007)–8 stars.

SAW V (2008)–6 stars.

SAW VI (2009)–6 stars.

SAW VII-3D (2010)–6.5 stars.

 

So even though Math may not be my long dick, I would postulate that the overall critical rating by the SlashMan would be a very solid 7 stars. Terrific & shit, right?

Bacchus & I have decided that the next classic horror series that I will tackle will be A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, which sports 9 films in the franchise, plus a 7 minute travesty produced on YouTube entitled FREDDY VS. JASON 2. So fright-boy Freddy Kruger & I hope to see you around the HH gore corral real soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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