Boobs

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

What is there to be said about this slice of cinematic perfection that hasn’t already?

Well….shit. I’ve got a few words to rub together, lets kick off this trilogy. I recommend Sol and Tequila for this one, and plenty of both.

Not that its necessary but goddamn, if it doesn’t help.

download

I’m going to take a bit longer with this one, because its fucking worth it and as one of my true cinematic loves, I need to show you just WHY

Lets start by talking about some of the names in this beautiful piece, Slash style.

Tom Savini aka Sex Machine

For the uninitiated, here’s a breakdown:

One of the most prolific in the SFX and Make Up scene, Savini (The Sultan of Splatter) broke big and hard (no pun intended) with George A. Romero in Dawn of the Dead. And…if you don’t know who Romero is, I’m not going to bother informing you SO GET OFF MY LAWN.

While you might not recognize the name ‘Savini’ immediately, you’ve seen his work

Jason Voorhees? Boom. Savini.

Jason Voorhees? Boom. Savini.

Savini also now runs a SFX and Make-Up program at the Douglas Education Center in Pennsylvania. Link, if you’re interested.

Fred “the Hammer” Williamson

Famed ‘Blaxploitation’ actor and NFL star, Fred’s rarely seen without his trademark cigar and you can see it in full effect with his portrayal of Frost

fred-williamson-titty-twisterFunny lil bit of trivia regarding Williamson – while he is a consummate badass and 3 time black belt holder, his little speech about Vietnam in the movie is a BIT misplaced – since it was actually SAVINI who served in ‘nam.

Quentin Tarantino

This was also arguably one of Tarantino’s largest roles in a film he wrote himself – a role so large he had to decline directing it in order to focus on his role as the seriously fucked up Richard Gecko, a sadistic rapist with a foot fetish and love of duct tape.

And, SPOILER ALERT, eventual vamp

And, SPOILER ALERT, eventual vamp

Of course I could talk about George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Cheech Marin, or a young as fuck Danny Trejo

dannytrejovamp

SEE LOOK HOW YOUNG HE – yeah thats the wrong pic. Still looks better than he does today.

But I’d much rather talk about the supremely sexy

Salma Hayek,

who had to go through TWO MONTHS of therapy just to prep for her role in arming me with the most turgid pants-tenting erection since I first discovered boobies

HHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

HHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Whew.

I mean fuck – at the age I was when this came out that scene plus some Jerry Maguire side boob action were probably the hottest I’d ever seen. OH WAIT NVM CYBORG WINS but still.

Synopsis

I assume SOME of you out there haven’t seen the movie, so i’ll put it into a nice little package for you.

The Gecko brothers, played by George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino, rob a bank in Abilene and make a run for the border. With a slew of murders under their belt, the relatively sane and matter of fact Seth Gecko (Clooney) has to wrangle his demented and perverted brother Richard (Tarantino) as they burn through hostages and civilians. Eventually settling on a family, chaired by the fallen-from-grace minister father Jacob Fuller (played by the brilliant Harvey Keitel) with an RV.

They narrowly make it across the border and quickly roll on to the Titty Twister, a Trucker bar specializing in pussy (amongst other things)

However, once inside our anti-heroes discover this bar isn’t all that it seems, and the resulting eruption of blood and titties proves to be a struggle that everyone may not make it out of.

Conclusions

Often touted as ‘a movie with vampires in it’ rather than a ‘vampire movie’, I don’t really give a two faced fuckwaffle HOW you classify From Dusk Till Dawn. Character study, horror, action, thriller (? maybe) its a taint tickling treat – easily my favorite Clooney flick. So crack open a Sol or Dos Equis, line up a few slammers of mid grade tekillya, and throw this piece on.

Trailer

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PS – don’t ask me why some of the vamps explode or one becomes a rat thing fuck – just go with it.

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Next up, against my better judgment, i’ll be reviewing the rest of the From Dusk Til Dawn trilogy. Bacchus help me.

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IMDB for the film

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