If you're already drunk

Train (2008)

Another guest review courtesy of the awesome folks over at Horror on Screen! Check them out!

Horror on Screen rating

  • Eloise = 3 / 10;
  • Raoul = 3 / 10;


Release Date: 2008

Genre: Torture

Director: Michelle MacLaren

Screenwriter: Michael Kingston


A group of sport students find themselves stuck in a train filled with maniacs willing to capture them to steal their organs.

 Horror-on-Screen review (by Raoul):

Train is another of these splatter set in Eastern Europe, and that depict the area as filled with deformed and retarded people. Actually, Train is pretty much the train version ofHostel, expect with less innovative ideas. In a similar way than the later, Train is extremely gory, but also quite disgusting, and you’ll get the chance to see some face-peeing scenes, as well as some guys masturbating before you even know it.

As for the villains, they bring no surprise for they are the usual gross & lecherous lunatics.  A little more diversity would have been appreciated here. The same goes for the story, which remains really shallow and never explains why all of this is taking place, why it happens in a train, how it started, and who are those people anyway. In that sense, Train is quite an empty nut.

Another major turn off is the complete lack of realism during the action scenes. The killers are here and then suddenly disappear, leaving always a chance for the victims to escape so that they can be better caught again, thereby increasing cheaply the rate of gory scenes. Then comes the moment where the lead character manages to escape by dressing up as a gypsy with a scarf on her head and some earrings…seriously?? I still wonder what made me the angriest: that the film takes its viewers for plain stupid, or the huge stereotype that the film is conveying within that scene. The fact that the same lead character was defenseless in the first half, and suddenly becomes a fighting expert towards the end of the film, finished to achieve me…

Two other things really irritated me. The first was Thora Birch, who I usually like (The Hole, Deadline and of course American Beauty), but who is here as emotionless as a slug. The second was the completely stupid behavior of the victim which was so cliché that one could really wonder at times if the film is not being a splatter parody.

In the end, Train is, much more than Hostel, the essence of torture porn itself…and solely relies on its graphic scenes to impress the viewer. The conclusion is then quite simple: gore hounds will probably enjoy it, while those who enjoy a story will find it ridiculous at best.



Original article by Horror on Screen available HERE!

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