Fucked up Fridays

The Seasoning House

Goddamn, Netflix, I’d never have expected you’d drop something so torture-porn-ish into my lap. This brings our usual Fucked up Fridays to a new level.

Sex slaves trained – until one rebels. Simple? Not even slightly. This, friends, is a real nasty character study. The most difficult part of this movie is that it lives up to its name, exactly as you may expect.


NOTE: This movie will be disturbing for the casual viewer. Lots of intense, gory sexual situations. Mutilation. Etc.


As is to be expected in torture porn of this caliber, who do we hate? Its understood, there’s some big badass cock knocker, right?

Seems to be

Damn thats a good photo. You can almost pick out the douchebag pixels.

Damn thats a good photo. You can almost pick out the douchebag pixels.

And well, yeah…If you don’t immediately understand what the premise is, allow me to break it down for your neophyte ass. The big man in charge, he’s responsible for breaking the girls and making them amenable for his customers. His immediate bottom bitch becomes the woman we’ll later understand to be our hero. Mute, deaf, a perfect sex slave wrangler – it would seem.

Until things take a turn for the righteous, and she realizes the ‘folly’ of her ways. No longer the subservient wench of the household ‘pimp’, she takes to the walls, in stellar classic horror fashion.

And when she descends in vengeance, we screamed like little bitches.


I’ve seen Sean Pertwee die in so many films I’m always impressed when he lives for more than a few minutes, the mans insanely talented. I mean I’ve been in bro-love with him since Equilibrium. I’d love to see him star in something, finally.


Still, he’s not the star. The star is Rosie Day (Angel). And if she doesn’t leave you questioning the status of your pantaloons you aren’t watching the right movie. By which I mean if you haven’t shat them you’re doing something wrong.

There’s something about the deaf and dumb that allows this douchecanoe (Kevin Howarth) to trust her. The sequence, as he trains her further, is as disturbing as it is evocative. Almost like ‘how the other half lives’ of the Taken series. Fucking INTENSE. (not fucking in tents, who am I, Chris Farley? NO IM JUST FAT)

There’s some flashback sequences that establish Rosie Day’s character so ferociously it fucking hurts. Its hard to imagine the transformation from this sweet, genuine child to drug administering tasktaker. She retains her humanity, and it hurts. It hurts to see, to witness – Rosie Day brings humanity to such a terrifically fucked situation that will bring dampness to the staunchest eyes.

The gold here is when she realizes what she’s about, and takes matters into her own hands.


Even seen Helen Keller fuck up some military types? No? Well. You are going to love this.

Finally – The Seasoning House must be viewed. Its on Netflix, its well made and its supremely performed. Skipping this would be a fucking shame. Still – its not for the light hearted. Easily the nastiest flick we’ve seen on Netflix, so gird your loins or don’t view it at all.

Verdict: 7.5/10, if you can stomach torture/gore porn



IMDB for the film

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2 replies »

  1. I spend time, cause I uncovered exactly what I had been having a look intended for. You may have ended my 4 day prolonged seek out! Our god Many thanks man. Have got a awesome morning. Bye


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