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Thirsty Thursday Review: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp

First line of the movie: “Jesus probably had a big dick”.

Oh. Oh yes.

Titties, gore, Jesus’ legendary cock, and laughs. Pretty much a total package. So – grab a whiskey and your tallywhacker, and gird your loins for

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Summary

The movie follows two separate storylines – one in 1977 and one in 1984 – of two separate groups of randy jesus freaks who head up to a camp in the woods to get their sanctified fuck on.

Obviously (SPOILERS) the first group only serves to set the stage, by getting shanked to hell and back. The second group is where the fun begins. You’ve got your nerd, your jock, your black guy, your fat boy comedy relief…and then your innocent tits, your sinful goth tits, and some mixed race lesbian titties…all around, a perfect formula.

Mix into that the all star Reggie Bannister (Phantasm, Bubba Ho Tep) and the inimitable Ron Jeremy, and you’ve got a stew goin!

A STEW?!

A STEW?!

I hate to be a dick, but the acting is surprisingly good – though I suppose that’s helped by good writing. Two things uncommon in this category of horror.

While the storyline is pretty damn cookie cutter, the humor is there, and the formula is done quite well. If you’ve seen the Jason series, you have a decent sense of where this ships headed.

And yes, the black guy dies first. Also, I finally figured out who he reminds me of –

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The comedy really ramps up in this one as we approach the ending. Vito nails the 30:30:30 formula well. (for the uninitiated, thats 30 mins ramp up, 30 mins conflict and build, at :60 ish a close climax winding up to the final battle.

(SPOILER) The cuddle session with the killer and the innocent blonde with the cute sweater mounds is downright HILARIOUS. As the killer shoves the blood and shit covered cross into her mouth my girlfriend pipes up with perfect timing “Apparently the bitch can’t deepthroat”

"Jesus loves me, this I know, if he hollers let him go, eeenie meeenie, minie moe...." Wait. What?

“Jesus loves me, this I know, if he hollers let him go, eeenie meeenie, minie moe….” Wait. What?

Lets talk about the odd level of tolerance the all powerful Ron Jeremy brings to the stage. Did I just get social commentary from a movie called ‘Bloody Bloody Bible Camp’?!?

Wrapping this wonderful piece up is Tim Sullivan, another stellar player in the horrorverse (see 2001 maniacs).

And the conclusion? Not to be missed. SERIOUSLY – STAY THROUGH THE CREDITS

Conclusions

There were so many points during this movie where everyone watching screamed and laughed out loud. Honestly, you can’t top bloody bloody bible camp for laughs and downright enjoyment in the horror genre. We certainly haven’t lately.

Obviously, theres some issues. Plot holes, like Four Loko in 1984, etc, but I’d like to take a moment to thank our good lord Vito for the plethora of good ole ‘white women titties’. A good man knows his ratio of tits to gore, and Vito is certainly that.

"Come again soon!" - "Nah, I think i'm good"

“Come again soon!” – “Nah, I think i’m good”

For every part of this movie anyone may have an issue with, they poke fun at themselves, and enjoy it every step of the way. You will too.

—–

Tune in tomorrow for our exclusive interview with Director Vito Trabucco. Follow him on Twitter

IMDB for the film

While you’re at it follow Horriby Hooched on Twitter and Facebook

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