Boobs

Cheerleader Massacre 2

So, uhm, tits.

Plenty of tits.

Shitty gore. MORE than enough shitty gore. OH! And lest we forget…the inimitable Kyle FUCKING Kinane!! A true gentleman and scholar “Hey guys, these farts are like contractions for the food baby i’m about to have”. Love that man.

According to IMDB this was a straight to video release in Japan. Color me fucking surprised.

Cheerleader_Massacre_2_(2009)

 

I don’t know what you’re expecting from a review of a movie of this sort of caliber. I mean, most of these sets seem recycled porn dealies, the dialogues written by a 13 year old fully engorged ‘hacker’, and I’d be ashamed to see such a piece aired on Skinimax at 3 am.

Still, fuck it. I’m proud someone was invested enough in this to edit it together. Props to you, Robert Polgar. Whoever the fuck you may be. You’ve fallen far.

Ok I’m starting to think this is just Skinimax. Guys? ….Guys? Are we sure this isn’t porn…?

So I just looked it up and its apparently rated ‘x’. I…didn’t even realize this was still a thing. So. Yay for titties!

BTW, I love this trend of putting flashbacks to an Instagram filter.

For the record, folks, the marked lack of images is due to the fact that there fucking ARENT any. I found the poster, so, have fun with that. The rest of this shits freeballed.

Whether or not this is Skinimax I’m in dire need of looser pants cuz I am tenting this bitch like fucking Yellowstone.

Oh, uh,

PLOT SUMMARIZATION

Two teams of cheerleaders get naked and make eye sex with me.

For like, a competition, or something. ANd then most of em die.

ROBOTS

ENDING PLOT SUMMARIFYING

So, yeah.

Also, for those of you taking notes between tittie shots the SFX team literally spaced on adding in the robot for about 3 seconds at the 49 min mark. Fucking. Priceless.

For the record, monsieur Kinane, we forgive you.

Y’all should check this out because its on Netflix and…well…titties.

IMDB

The most commonly uttered phrase tonight was ‘YOU TALKIN BOUT MY FUCKSTiCK?!’

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