WE’RE BACK YOU WRIGGLING WORTHLESS CUNT NUGGETS
And why are we back? To review the strangest revamp of the last decade. Apparently the last 3 Chucky movies weren’t enough to convince the IP owners to leave a sleeping pile of shit lie.
That being said, we DO NOT hate Chucky. We love the irreverent pile of plastic.
So it seems theres this doll, and its got this predilection for murdering the everloving fuck out of people folk.
Once the doll is delivered first to the home of some senile artistic old bag of useless fuck that demeans her daughter, the daughter flirts with the delivery boy (possible foreshadowing…? I don’t really know much about cinema). And then the mom eats it. Proverbially. I think. We dont see her die but there is a fantastic pool of blood.
The doll bonds with the new young bitch that shows her ginger face.
Sorry, not ginger, just a soulless child reminding me of why i’ll never spawn my own.
At any rate a meal unfolds. For whatever fuck off reason, and the acting amps up to level “used to be a child star and would literally suck a dick for a role people will recognize”. When rat poison enters the scene. Unexpectedly at the group meal.
The preacher dies in a way that no one could ever describe. Like, in a car and shit. Commence reminiscing.
No matter how tightly you bunch up the supposed hot chicks titties doesn’t make her hot.
AND SUDDENLY LESBIAN SCENE.
I mean how else do you redeem a movie.
What follows will otherwise be considered formulaic bullshit.
Bitch is lighting candles
Bacchus: So are holding a seance or having fucking dinner?
Categories: Don't even bother