I know, I know. We haven’t reviewed the first one. We’ll get to it.
But we’re bored and drunk, so fuckin deal with it.
There’s tits, but thats pretty much to be expected. At least they got that right. Bottom line – we whole heartedly approve and endorse this one.
In this one, the main chick from the first movie survives, and goes to get a posse to mete out some swamp justice. There’s some interesting characters, like fucking Reverend Zombie, played by the inimitable Tony Todd (of Candyman fame), but otherwise its pretty goddamn cookie cutter horror. Which is perfect.
QUOTES OF THE NIGHT
Bacchus: What is he puking, corn? Quinoa?
Romulus: Looks like his career HEYO
Bacchus: Muthafuckin candyman
Romulus: That voice. Dear god man.
Bacchus: Say what you will, they do the deaths really well –
Romulus: WAIT is that…is that Iceman? I get the feeling he left this one off his resume.
Reverend Zombie sends the girl off to find backup
Bacchus: “Go on, get us some pipe hittin niggas”
Romulus: “If Butch goes to Indo-China, I want a nigger hiding in a bowl of rice waiting to pop a cap in his ass.”
note: Usage of the words niggas and nigger, respectively, have been approved by resident black guy Romulus
Vernon asks for more cookies
Bacchus: Has to be a black guy
Romulus: Hey niggas like cookies
Bacchus: Did he just….go prince on that hicks ass?
Romulus: Either that or a James Brown that can talk.
chicks talking about getting the 5k for killing Crowley
Bacchus: What kind of shitty debt are you in?
Romulus: What is this 1926?
Bacchus: Is that how much a middle school equivalency costs?
crowley begins bashing some dudes face in with an axe
Romulus: Lets put a SMILE on that FAAACE
following vodka shot number 5, when a dude gets his face blended by a boat motor
Romulus: That is some EXCELLENT paper mache work.
Bacchus: I told you she was only here for tits
Crowley cuts Vernon and Quiet Fuck in half as their testicles drop to the ground
Romulus: RED BALLS
Bacchus: I SMOKE ROCKS JOE ROGAN
Bacchus: Did he just
Romulus: Did he do the opposite
Bacchus: HE JUST SHOT A DOOR CLOSED
Bacchus: A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’
Romulus: How the fuck did you ….how does that relate?
Bacchus: I’m in the weird part of the internet again
Holy. Fucking. Shit. What a blast. Grab a bottle, a friend, and sit down and watch this bitch.