Boobs

Zombies Vs. Strippers, I DO DECLARE

....I need to stop drinking

….I need to stop drinking

Synopsis: I’m supposed to do this shit since this is technically a review, so…there’s zombies. And theres also strippers. Now kindly fuck off and let us commence with the funny.

Marriage is not out of the question

Marriage is not out of the question

HOLY GLORY HOLE FUCK, PEOPLE, TITS. Glorious tits. Everywhere. Boobs. Boobies, flesh mounds, sweater meats, my happy place – this is it.

Its pretty difficult to nail the ratio of tits to gore, but Alex Nicolaou (whoever the fuck you are) nailed it.

The first stripper to hit the stage popped so many tents in this place you could call this shit Yellowstone. (was that clever? I thought so.)

The asses on these women offend every┬ásensibility I have left. I mean…its amazing. So fucking amazing it should be illegal.

I’d marry every one of the wonderful bitches in a second.

…I mean bitch in the best possible way.

“Come back here again and i’ll snap yo dick off!”

ZomVSstrip2

Someone give these writers a fuckin raise this shit is verbal gold. I mean, did Capcom write this? Holy titty fuck

If someone doesn’t make Nancy Reagans Vagina a band immediately i’ll be insanely depressed.

DONT TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY TITTY BAR SHIT FOR BRAINS

For the record, Brittany is seriously giving Stephanie Sanditz a run for her money in the glorious titty department – *EXTREME ADJECTIVES*

It’s impressive to think that a man with as fantastic a name as Circus-Szalewski could be in SO MANY shitty movies…58 ROLES? All my actor friends – commence with the tears.

Don’t worry though. Amidst the gore and titties, the shitty acting, in walks Brad Motherfuckin Potts. SARGE

THAT SHIT WAS BEAUTIFUL

THAT SHIT WAS BEAUTIFUL

The games afoot, fuckers. DO YOU SEE THAT MOUSTACHE, FAG TREAT?

(quick question is the homie behind the bar ALSO the homeless dude from the parking lot?)

I need more strippers in my life.

“This meth head robots right.” Might be the best line in the movie.

Here’s the deal – what do you expect from a movie with a name like Zombies Vs. Strippers? Mayhaps..Zombies and Strippers? How about some really terribly awesome writing, zombies, and the best tits you’ve ever seen?

Watch this movie or fuck off.

Seriously…fuck. right. off. The women? Wonderful. The acting? Wonderfully terrible. The gore? Right on par but how much actual ass eating have you ever seen?

Truth is, you haven’t. This movie lacks but delivers. You have Netflix? You watch this movie.

No refunds on brain cells. But thats the fucking way we like it.

Woulda been nice if Eve Mauro woulda graced us with her tits. Because, based on her frame, I imagine them wonderful.

…and then a pig dude eats a dude kinda sorta and we learn what hambo is FUCKING TWIST

Cheers, bitches

AND THEN A DUDE EATS A HOT CHICKS FACE

so yeah, this actually happens SPOILERS fuck off

so yeah, this actually happens SPOILERS fuck off

Ok, IMDB this shizz, ignore the ratings, and FUCKING WATCH IT YOU PEONS

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