Thoroughly enjoyable

Puppet Master X, Axis Rising

After a failed night out Romulus and I were in need of some good drunk fun – and Puppet Master X fit the bill fucking perfectly.

Rom: “I’m not drunk enough for this. I am NOT making the same mistake I did with Birdemic, gimme that bottle fucknuts.”

Bacchus: “…you go girl…”

Gird thy loins

Gird thy loins

So to start, the chick with the absolutely fantastic cleavage is Stephanie Sanditz, a new favorite of mine. Also apparently a screenwriter, she’s goddamn falldown brilliantly beautiful, with a rack to make a man mewl like a newborn kitten aching for a sip of milk. What a perfect balance. Just the right amount of thickness, something REAL women are so lacking. We have a new resident favorite, ladies and gents!

That aside, you have to know based solely on the titular image this will be a terrible and silly romp through a realm loosely classified as ‘horror’. I see what they’re going for here, though, and holy shit fuck am I excited.

We are LOVING the Sarge. Eyebrows for days, this guy. Reminds me of  like an alocholic, slightly older and more fit John Lithgow, circa his Dexter magnificence. VUNDEBRA

– wait.

YOU DID NOT KILL MY PRINCESS. THE APPLE OF MY EYE. Oh, you son of a bitch, I can’t wait until they kill you….

RIP, my darling.

RIP, my darling.

I feel a certain bond with the good doktorr as he resurrects her – the cannon titties are an especially fantastic addition. BOMBSHELL FOR THE TITTYFUCKING WIN.

Considering he actually used the quote in the movie…

The only thing i’m regretting about this movie so far is the lack of Donald Sutherland. I want Sarge to adopt me.

Romulus just literally lifted himself off the ground with laughter. This is some exorcist shit right here.

SOMEONE FETCH THE MAN WHISKY!

…guess I’ll just do it then.

We're the stars. I think.

We’re the stars. I think.

I do have to say I love having the puppets as like good guys…and the new ones they’ve created? Simply wonderful. Though I’d check any expectations at the door, this isn’t exactly intelligent fare.

Wehrmacht? Wonderful. Blitzkrieg? Simply inspired. Kamikaze? ….ok its racist but fuck me wild if it isn’t hilarious.

KAMA KAMA KAMA KAMELEONNNN

KAMA KAMA KAMA KAMELEONNNN

That being said why can this one talk? FFS Mr. Miyagi would be PISSED.

Given the climax, I’ll say this – fuck IMDB, its a silly fun movie. Enjoy it after 6-10 stiff beverages and move right along.

 

IMDB that shizz.

 

P.S. I’M WAITING STEPHANIE!!!!

20 replies »

  1. hello lovely ones. thanks for the ridiculous love of aforesaid horror comedy greatness. i’m on twitter now. @ssanditz

    Like

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