Worth watching drunk

Kill Theory

SPOILER ALERT: Well…all of this shits spoilers.

Again, quick disclaimer for those horror buffs of you that honor the time honored balance of tits and gore, we DO have tits in this one! I REPEAT CAPTAIN, TITTIES.

KillTheory3

sweet sweet titties

Its a brief shot, to be sure, but we’ll always tip our hat to a director that understands titties place in horror. Now, if someone could figure out the proper ratio, I’d probably suck their fucking dick (in like a SUPER straight way). ANYway, without further ado…

 

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Its an interesting premise, I’ll say that, even if its been done in some incarnation or another many times before.

Synopsis: A fella’s hanging from a rope, climbing, who has to cut his friends ropes in order to survive. Contending that anyone would do the same, he puts a group of 7 friends in a series of situations where they must choose between their own lives and their friends, with only one person being the one to walk away.

Sound familiar? Well…it is. Cue cast list. Fat nervous friend, loner, 7th wheel. Cocky asshole who inevitably turns first and the audience wants to die first but doesn’t. Throwaway red shirt couple. Slutty dumb blonde with massive (and may I say, gorgeous) tits. Responsible, reasonable male lead with supporting female heroine who may/may not be the only one that lives.

NOT ONLY AM I WITTY, IM ALSO RELIABLE AND HONORABLE

NOT ONLY AM I WITTY, IM ALSO RELIABLE AND HONORABLE

 

Decent set up, as I’m a pretty big fan of the serial killer horror where the bad guys got it all figured out, some how manages to be in all places at once, and has all manner of twisted scenarios set up. It falls apart in execution…to be some remarkably staid and simple, predictable, formulaic and WHAT THE SHIT NO MORE TITTIES? My hopes were so high, Chris Moore. So high. Things progress, theres a human sized bear trap and fat guy cries/sweats a lot. Is that sweat or tears?

Hard to say.

That is, up until the moment when the jilted Ex beats the ever loving shit out of irritating cocky fuck guy with a shovel AFTER CUTTING OFF HIS HAND. Fuck. Yeah. Alright mister Moore, I’m listening.

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL

 

And, just like that, its over.

Rather than the overly emotional ‘kill me to save yourself’ moment between the last couple the bitch straight up stabs her man. COOOOLD BLOOODED.

Image relevant.

Image relevant.

 

All in all, I give this a definite go ahead. Great ending, fun little ditty.

 

Worth 7 shots during to maintain interest.

IMDB

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