Uncategorized

The Cabin in the Woods, or the first time I had a homoerotic experience. Also in the woods.

LISTEN CUNT NUGGETS WATCH THIS FUCKING MOVIE.

YEAH CUZ THAT SHIT LOOKS LEGIT

Should you have a reason to the contrary kindly understand that your opinion is horribly wrong you self-fellating douche nozzle.

DAH I CHEW TREE TRUNKS

Why?

Because fuck you, thats why.

I know many of you young gentlemen consider yourselves informed, but at the same time, disagreeing with this post is the moral equivalent of felching a dead goat you whorish child.

YO BITCH SCIENCE

You will enjoy this.

It starts in a manner unseen in familiar horror/suspense flicks ie you find yourself asking ‘WHAT THE HORSE FUCK IS GOING ON?’. And as well you should. Because in the coming minutes you will be simultaneously astounded and blown away by awesomeness. So, gird your loins you silly fuckers, this shits about to get interesting.

You see a corporation. You see a characteristically uniform group of unsuspecting teenagers HOLY SHIT COCKLES IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING CHRIS HEMSWORTH

good luck assholes. Welcome to sport fucking 201

Yes you little bitch, it sure as hell tits is.

You can be as straight as you like, but if you look at this gorgeous bastards abs and your pants don’t wiggle just a bit YOU’RE FUCKING LYING. Look at this 8 pack (EIGHT PACK YOU FUCK) and tell me your junk doesn’t shift just a smooch.

Anyway he’s beside the point because as shit develops you think you know whats going down but guess what Periwinkle you don’t know shit stains from tootsie rolls.

Oh you like tits? Guess what, shit fuck, you’re out of luck. BUT check out that ass you sassy faggot. BOOM. Panties, right away. Yeah, because awesome doesn’t shit more awesome it shits titty fuckin Cubic Zirconium clit suckin brilliance.

If you haven’t caught on yet, stop reading this ridiculous shit and watch the movie YOU COMMIE. Sorry, that was a bit uncalled for, but seriously Red whats up with Stalin?

Fuck off.

Guess what? Oh you think you’ve guessed the premise? Eat a rotten badger dick and call me in the morning you Shyalaman suck fuck.

YEAH THATS RIGHT IT GETS BETTER.

Truth or dare, basement full of WTF, suddenly winning and wasn’t that guy in Step Brothers?

Yeah he was. Hello killing floor lets talk ominous oh wait this shits serious. Yeah, serious. Like end of the world serious so eat a dog dick you lazy fuck. Seriously WHY ARE YOU READING THIS AND NOT WATCHING THE BEST MOVIE OF THIS SUCK FUCKING DECADE?

Horse dick aside, this is some insanely enjoyable shit. You get no more clues than ‘oh yah, your fears, i poop in them’.

Whatever the actual fuck that means.

YOU GOT OTHER SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT BITCH

You don’t even get to vote on drinks since it doesn’t take shit to enjoy this glory. And, if your hairless dick requires it, you can check out some IMDB shit.

faggot.

 

 

 

p.s. Tequila

Categories: Uncategorized

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